GOODENess!!!

A Lady in the Sheets.com on ThaAfterParty.com (49:00mins)

2011-04-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

Last month I was a guest on the ThaAfterParty.com FishBowl radio show!

During the show, I showed ALL KINDS of tips and even gave Montanna and Summer G an ‘oral technique mini class’ using Popsicles and desensitizing sprays. This is absolutely MUST SEE TV

NWGAAD - The Red Pump Project Dallas - DIVA SWAP

2011-02-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

Women and Girls are Taking Action in the Fight Against HIV/AIDS

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NWGAAD) is a nationwide observance that encourages people to take action in the fight against HIV/AIDS and raise awareness of its impact on women and girls.

Red Pump asks...What can you do?

The first step to raising awareness, promoting education and increasing prevention of HIV/AIDS in women and girls is making sure that you...

KNOW YOUR STATUS!

With that thought in mind I decided to host an event that will get a large group of women and girls in one place and test them all for HIV!!

What do women LOVE? .......SHOPPING! FASHION! FUN!

With a recession in full swing, I decided a clothing swap with vendors, silent auctions, networking, raffles, and professional fashion advice would be a GREAT way to achieve my goal!

Clothing swaps are fashionable, fun, and a charitable way to refresh your wardrobe. De-clutter that closet! Bring all your unwanted but AWESOME items that you no longer wear (or never got to wear).

All un-swapped clothing will be donated to LifeNetTexas.org! **

LifeNet helps individuals with mental illness and chemical dependency find permanent supportive housing and supported employment. This is an agency that has helped a loved one of mine and I know that all donations are APPRECIATED and utilized in the spirit in which they were donated!

**To find out how you can help, go to the website and click on GIVE > Current Needs

The Red Pump Project - DALLAS presents...DIVA SWAP

FREE HIV TESTING!

WHEN - Sunday, March 13, 2011 from 2-6pm

WHERE - ARNETIC (2826 Elm St, Dallas, TX 75202)

TIME - 2-6pm

2-4pm - D.I.V.A. workshop & clothing drop off

4-6pm - DIVA SWAP

PRICE - $5 w/ clothing donation $10 w/o clothing donation

CLICK HERE to buy $10 tickets or to donate to The Red Pump Project!

Swap and bring home some new favorites for FREE!

Thank You for your continued support of The Red Pump Project here in Dallas!

Now it's time for you to decide: What can you do?
**To find out how you can help, go to the LifeNetTexas website and click on GIVE > Current Needs

5 year old needs a job before getting married - funny!

2011-02-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

My only issue with this video is that mommy's obvious level of "pisstivity" with her choice to marry before solidifying her independence with a career is all up an through this little angel's commentary. I think it's imprtant that our children are taught to be independent before they get married and sh!t...

"...if you can't stand ALONE, how do you expect to be able to stande BESIDE??!" - Goody

NBHAAD 2011 (event recap)

2011-02-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NBHAAD)!

National Black Hiv/Aids Awareness Day is a national HIV testing and treatment community mobilization initiative designed to increase the awareness of HIV/AIDS prevention, care and treatment among Blacks in the United States and Diaspora.

The movement has four main objectives that it hopes to realize within Black communities:

Education: To distribute information about HIV/AIDS locally.

Testing: Establish February 7 as an annual day to get an HIV test.

Involvement: Increase the number of Blacks involved locally.

Treatment: For those newly testing HIV+ and those coming to terms with their status, get them aware of treatment services and information.

Did You Know…?

· Blacks represent approximately 13% of the United States population, but almost half of the AIDS cases.
· The AIDS diagnosis rate per 100,000 among Black adults/adolescents was 9 times that of whites in 2008.
· The AIDS diagnosis rate for Black men (85.5) was the highest of any group, followed by Black women (39.9).
· In 2006, Black men and Black women had the highest HIV death rates per 100,000 people ages 25–44.
· HIV was the 4^th leading cause of death for Black men and 3^rd for Black women, ages 25–44, in 2006

As a Red Pump Ambassador for Dallas, TX, it was my distinct pleasure to hostess a NBHAAD event in my area!

I was blessed to have the support of:

Lamman Rucker, Thomas Mikal Ford, DJ Frances Jaye, DJ Jay Clipp and Michelle Anderson!

We all got together to host a NBHAAD event that involved my favorite things Black People, music and AWARENESS!

The event was held at Kush Mediterranean Grill + Hookah Bar in Dallas from 8pm-12am.

The Red Pump Project and AIDS Arms Inc were on hand providing information, protection and testing for the over 75 people that came by recognize NBHAAD!

Lamman Rucker, Michelle Anderson and myself tooks turns on the mic to speak to the crowd about the importance of knowing your status and being in control of your life!

Local artist Jurni Rayne was also in the building and graced us with an unplugged rendition of her HIV/AIDS Anthem!

It was a GREAT time and over 40 people got tested!

Don't believe me? See for yourself!

ShoeSHOW 2010 winner!!

2011-02-03T11:59:00.000-08:00

I know that the Shoe SHOW was 2 months ago...and the fact that I am just now posting the breakdown & pics from the event are trifling to say the least...BUT...I'm doing it anyway...give me a #latepass and build a bridge!

I have so many irons in the fire that I can't wait to blog about but first things first...I have got to post the event pics slide show and show you the shoes that WON the Gucci messenger bag!

so...

here goes!

The winning pair of shoes was submitted by Traci Moore, a local makeup artist, stylist and artistic director. Traci is a Dallas native that began her career in makeup in January 2009. It is no surprise that Traci has taken the makeup world by storm. Her creative eye, attention to detail and positive energy has never allowed her to be one to fade into the background.

TRACI has graciously volunteered to create a new and unique pair of red pumps to be sold at silent auction at each of our Red Pump Dallas events in 2011!

WORLD AIDS DAY IN DALLAS, TX

2010-11-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

In honor of World AIDS Day...

The Red Pump Project - DALLAS presents...

Shoe SHOW 2010...

benefitting A Sister's Gift

Now I know you're thinking...GOODY what in the world is a SHOE SHOW??

A Shoe SHOW is a shoe design/decorating contest and reception.

TO ENTER THE CONTEST - drop off a completed entry form and a new pair of shoes that you've given a RED PUMP makeover at DUVAL's Penthouse on Saturday, November 27, 2010 from 12-3pm...

TO SUPPORT SHOE SHOW 2010 - attend the Red Pump Dallas Shoe Show Reception on Wednesday, December 1, 2010 from 7-10pm to vote for your favorite pair of shoes and get a chance to win them!!

There will also be vendors and live performances!!

WHERE:
DUVAL's Penthouse
1700 Commerce St, 18th floor
Dallas, Tx 75202

TICKETS $10
PARKING $3

PRIZE: designer messenger bag filled with lots of goodies!!

For contest rules, entry form and vendor/sponsor/general info:

Leave a comment on this blog

OR

email redpumpdallas@theredpumpproject.com

http://www.theredpumpproject.com/

WALKING IN RED PUMPS!!! (October 2010)

2010-08-05T12:26:00.001-07:00

Join me Team Red Pump Dallas in our efforts to support LifeWalk!

Thank you for supporting the 20th Dallas LifeWalk 5K.The Dallas Metroplex has approximately 20,000 individuals that are HIV-infected, leading the state of Texas in new HIV cases. Your contribution and support of Team Red Pump Dallas is greatly appreciated as we walk to eradicate this disease. Thank you again!

About The Red Pump Project

The Red Pump Project is a national initiative of The Red Project Collective, that raises awareness about the impact of minority communities (women, people of color, LGBT). Founded March 2009, our mission is to promote HIV prevention through education, encouraging safe sex practices, and open dialogue about the issues that surround sexual and reproductive health. Using the red shoe as a symbol of empowerment to represent women affected directly and indirectly with HIV/AIDS with the incorporation of fashion into the message of HIV prevention we hope to show: Awareness is Always in Style (TM).

last call

2010-04-07T06:19:00.000-07:00

got stress
felling helpless
life is a mess
but it could be worse
just nurse your uneasy soul
with liquor and retail
combined when well drinks go on sale
it's a not so happy hour

logging off #haiku

2010-04-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

stop follwing me!
get your FACE out of my BOOK
cuz I need MySpace!

"locked up"

2010-04-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

The lack of his voice brings moisture to my eyes...
tears of "where are you?"
bringing screams of "I miss you!"
that cross my lips as I whisper into the darkness... "I love you.."
I don't doubt the commitment to our togetherness...
but circumstances have restriceted the ways he can show me...
I feel like we're connected through glass...
like he's locked in an arrangement of familiarity...
awaiting his appeal...
baited breath escapes through my words...
but they're never heard...
he can only see me...
so I just smile...blow a kiss...and pray for freedom...
when the times comes, I will rejoice...
the lack of moisture to my eues...
but they will be tears of joy!

SONday

2010-04-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

He is my reason...
my SONshine in all seasons...
my only ManCub!

POWER (poem for April 3, 2010)

2010-04-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

I am POSITIVE
That I am NEGATIVE and
knowledge is power!

TATTOO (poem for April 2, 2010)

2010-04-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

sharp pen stabbing deep
leaving behind blood and ink
flesh becomes canvas

APRIL is POETRY month..

2010-04-01T11:04:00.000-07:00

What is NATIONAL POETRY MONTH??
Inaugurated by the Academy of American Poets in 1996, National Poetry Month is now held every April, when publishers, booksellers, literary organizations, libraries, schools and poets around the country band together to celebrate poetry and its vital place in American culture. Thousands of businesses and non-profit organizations participate through readings, festivals, book displays, workshops, and other events.

I have several ways I plan on celebrating this year, but my first order of business is to challenge myself to right a poem EVERY DAY in April...I will post one here everyday and I would love for you to post in the comments to help celebrate a love of language arts!

The first one is a HAIKU cuz I need a warmup or two (hey, that rhymed.....WOMP WOMP) ok here goes:

hoes into housewives...
and you are NOT the father...
you ARE April's fool!

Also, I have been challenged to finish my book of poems before I turn 31. I am feeling kind of trapped in my subject matter and I love to step outside of my creative box..to that end, I thought that the best way for me to do that would be for people to give me topics or perspectives that they would enjoy a poetic pieces about...if you wanna be my muse...email me at GOODENess@gmail.com

first post of 2010

2010-03-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

DAMN... #majorlatepass

I haven't blogged since WORLD AIDS DAY and life has been moving and shaking A LOT since then! Since we all know I get distracted by shiny objects, so I will give the Reader's Digest version of shit that's been going on with me since my last post... (drum roll please)

In the last few months I have:

- learned a lot about myself thanks to my "silent partner"

- made great strides in building my (still developing) intimacy consulting firm, A Lady In The Sheets! my website is VERY basic, so be patient, cuz I'm learning as I go.

- made LOTS of random new eFriends on Twitter!

- done a nude photoshoot!

- been actively expanding my poetic mind.

- TURNED 30!!

- been exploring every aspect of "knowledge of self"

- started to take my volunteer responsibilities more seriously.

- dedicated more energy to being a better communicator, woman, poet, mother, friend and family member.

- decided to READ MORE and become a more well rounded being.

- laid the ground work for a MAJOR move in my life and lifestyle!

- started actually going to the GYM! *takes a bow*

I'm sure I'm leaving some important stuff out...but it escapes me now...I really wish I could blame drugs for these brain farts, but no such luck!

Lastly, I've decided to get off my analog ass and BLOG...I'm going to Blogging While Brown in June and I am beyond excited! Thing is...how am I supposed to be all up in a blogging conference and ain't blogged? that's where you come in, see, I got no clue what to blog about...

so...

ummmmmm...

*tumbleweeds roll across the screen*

I'm gone do my best!

Stay tuned and shit!

WORLD AIDS DAY 2009

2009-12-01T10:46:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I am one of the Dallas Ambassadors for The Red Pump Project. It's a nationwide initiative to increase HIV/AIDS awareness and education in the demographic that has the distinct dishonor of being the fastest growing HIV/AIDS infected population in the US, brown women ages 18-35.

In honor of World AIDS Day 2009, I would like to emphasize the life long effect that HIV/AIDS has on the entire community. I want to take the World AIDS Day initiative a step further and ask that you (and your loved ones) make a genuine effort to VOLUNTEER in the HIV/AIDS positive communities in your city. VOLUNTEER at an AIDS/HIV nonprofit and put this preventable epidemic into a more realistic perspective. HIV/AIDS not only affects the people that are infected, it touches the lives of the children and families of the Volunteering doesn't necessarily mean visiting a facility, although it would help. You can do something as simple as collect canned goods/toiletries for a shelter, host a fundraiser at your church/job, read books to positive children, donate toys/books to a shelter or hospice , or work a few hours a week in the business/operations offices of an agency that services the HIV/AIDS community. I have taken the liberty to put together a short list of volunteer opportunities in my home town of Dallas, TX:

A Sister's Gift

AIDS Arms Inc.

AIDS Interfaith Network

AIDS Services of Dallas

Resource Center Dallas

Please support Luvvie and Karyn (the founders of the Red Pump Project) by visiting their blogs!

AND GET TESTED!!!!

mama got a new sock!

2009-10-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

heeeey ya'll.. I know I suck! It's been over 2 months since I've blogged...and although I still don't have a "job", I WORK....baby! Real life consists of momy-ing, team mommy-ing, MC's 6th b(earth)day, DeSoto Falcons Homecoming, twitter-ing, traveling, blogging for Black Atlas, woman-ing and just general shit and things...oh yeah...did I mention I got a new tattoo!??

YEAH!!

I got a new tattoo from the legendary, artistic genius that is Miya Bailey

For those that know me...you know that all of my body art pieces (this one makes 11)have significant meaning for my life and evolution...I will post a blog explaining each of them real soon, but for now, the focus is my "pretty bird"! it's a phoenix...you know the mythological bird that doesn't die, but bursts into flames and is born again from it's own ashes...THAT'S ME! I have had to start my little life over several times so far and I'm reborn every time bigger and better! My phoenix is a "tangible illustration of my resilient spirit"...say word! I got it on my right foot for several reasons, the biggest being that my foot has suffered the slings and arrows of athlete's foot, an ant attack and a staph infection and has become discolored as a result...it's the only part of my body I'm hyper-sensitive about...so I decorated that muhfugguh!! I got the idea from that episode of The Cosby Show where Cliff and Claire were having a best dressed contest, but Claire hurt her foot...so she decorated the HELL out of her cast, to beat Cliff! Classic ME and shit! lol check it out! please ignore the swelling...I will post new pics when it heals completely!

I freaking LOVE my phoenix and it was well worth the trip to ATL to get it done! What ya'll think??

my son is a STARRUH!

2009-08-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

aight ya'll! I let MC (ManCub aka Clarence) take HipHop/Tap classes at his summer camp. There was a boy's class but 2 of the boys punked out and the other one (on the right) got a whoopin right before the recital and didn't feel like doing shit! he even walks completely off stage toward the end! Apparently, MC was allowed to "freestyle" during this routine, so feel free to fast forward to about the 1:25 mark. It was dark in there AND I need a new camera so excuse the sound quality (or lack thereof) and enjoy the show!

I'm so damn DILLA right now!

2009-07-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

There is a J-Dilla** tribute type joint going on in the DMV and as ya'll know I am in TEXAS so I can't go...but my girl FUNGKEBLAKCHIK was eSpinning DILLA for the masses of asses that couldn't trade in their ghetto passes to get to the DMV! She linked this song "So Far To Go" (from JayDee's The Shining not Common's Finding Forever) and I won't even front...I cried a little when I heard it! There is something about this song that just moves me to smile a mile wide. Probably, because it reminds me of the MIC that introduced me to DILLA...I love them both...peace ya'll

**If you just asked yourself "Who's J-DILLA?" please click the hyperlinks, read about him...then come back to my blog and enjoy this jam...

He Get It From his MAMA! (father's day?)

2009-06-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

First, let me wish a HAPPY FATHER's DAY to every man that takes the time out to provide support & guidance for any child! There is always room for multiple examples of possitive manhood! You are appreciated! It takes a village & shit!

I had to share this with the eFam..cuz you can't make this shit up! I was at HOOTER's w/ my family for Father's Day...drinking, laughing, cussing, ragging on my dad for eyehustling EVERY chick that walked by even though his girlfriend was sitting right next to him...you know, the usual...when I noticed my son, MC (MC = ManCub for all you non-Twitter folks), was being extra quiet whenever out waitress, Lindsay, came around...things that make you say hmmm?

so I asked, "Punkin, what's wrong?"

MC "nothing mommy, I just like looking at the lady"

Lindsay, had been giving MC extra attention because she was impressed with how smart he was & "mature" his ability to order for himself, etc. She was hugging and "loving" on him due to his super cute-ness...

Dinner winds down, MC asks Lindsay to come here cuz he has a present for her...I'm thinking he drew he something with the crayons from the kiddie menu, how sweet right?

NOPE! Look at the paper closely!

My 5 yr old son has just given this woman his name and "number" on a napkin! *DEAD*

Oddly enough, I was massively proud of him...I had just witnessed a major milestone in male development...My son'd first holla! Now, I won't lie...I laughed my ass off! My whole family was CTFU and started singing..."He get it from his mama*!!"

Kids do the darnedest things, no? What are some crazy things the kids in your life have done/said?

*I don't holla at dudes, cuz I'm a laaaaady & shit, but I am a flirt and so is his dad...the boy has holla in his DNA...poor thing...

iWish...

2009-06-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

Not quite ready to …
Profess my unconditional love for you…
But I am sure that this is how that sentiment begins…
Wondering if we see the same clouds or feel the same winds…
I feel like I can lay my head on your chest and write lyrics to the beat of your heart…with ease…
And every verse would be…
As if you were speaking through me…
Mouthing the words in tandem…
All doubt is abandoned…
Music made…
The rhythm of his beat in the language of Shannon…

© GOODENess 2009

I NEED A JOB!

2009-05-20T17:51:00.000-07:00

Aight so back in September 2008, my contract assignment at the pink ribbon plantation ended and I haven't been able to find employment since then...ok well...wait...cuz typing "find employment" implies that I have been "looking for employment", which I really have not. I have been completely (and almost totally) bullsh!t-ing!

I know, I know...you're thinking "but GOODY, how have you been paying your bills?"

Well dear folks, my answer is simple *insert Pharell impression* I'm a HUSTLER baby! I have several entrepreneurial endeavors that subsidize my unemployment insurance, but that is a whole different post! "I'm not rich, but b!tch I'm barely broke!" *wink*

For a while, I was entertaining relocating to Atlanta, GA so I had stopped job hunting locally because I thought I would be moving soon. After further investigation, I decided to delay my relo until the recession recedes. Which means, I NEED A JOB! I have been home for 8 months and I am going batsh1t crazy up in here! I miss interacting with other adults and have gained a toddler-sized amount of weight! So in an effort to fix my "problem", I'm rocking the P90-X for the office-less spread and I am now ACTIVELY seeking employment.

Are you in the DFW Metroplex? Is your job hiring and paying more than my absolute minimum salary requirement of 37k? Then please scroll down and read my "reh-zoo-may"!
(this is my real resume only the companies have been removed)

SUMMARY: A hard working and effective professional with comprehensive experience in processing, accounting, reporting, database management, payroll, and corporate training. Shows good judgment and illustrates initiative to resolve conflicts and other issues productively. A successful manager with the ability to learn, evaluate and streamline business rules and processes. A team player that works efficiently, supporting various projects with professionalism and attention to detail.

EDUCATION:
University of Phoenix – Dallas Campus
Bachelor of Science, Business Management
Degree Awarded: September 2007

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Contractor for (company name removed) Feb 2008 – Sept 2008
*Processed Donations
*Reconciled Donor Database With Online Lockbox Interface
*Trained Team Members on Sorting/Caging Daily Direct Mail
*Trained Team Members on Processing Direct Mail Donations
*Internal/External Customer Service

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Payment Applications Specialist Oct 2005 – Jan 2008
*Internal/External Customer Service
*Trained Team Members on Payment Research and Application Processes
*Researched, Located and Posted Missing/Misapplied Payments
*Processed Refund Checks and Returned Items
*Balance/Audit Coordinator Outages
*Direct Contact to Advantage/Banner Database and Chase Lockbox Vendors
*Liaison to the Accounting Department for GL Reconciliation
*Reconcile Corporate Bank Accounts w/ Cashier Reports

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Office Manager Mar 2005 – Aug 2005
*Created Specialized Statistical Reports
*Maintained Recruiter Productivity Reports
*Maintained Recruit Database
*Trained Seasonal Employees on Daily office Support Processes
*Updated Payroll and Return on Investment Reports
*Accounts Receivable

(company name removed) Houston, Texas
Jr. Accounting Clerk Mar 2003 – Sept 2003
*Handled Inbound Calls from Clients/Vendors
*Re-billed Past Due Balances to Third Parties
*Managed Delinquent Accounts
*Reconciled driver expense reports
*Performed general Customer Service and Inventory Control

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Assistant Office Manager May 2000 – Dec 2001
*Scheduled Appointments
*Maintained Client/Vendor/Talent Database
*General Customer Service
*General Accounting
*Primary Liaison for Clients/Vendors/Talent
*Processed Photographer Payroll/Expense Accounts

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Teller (CSR1) May 1998 – Dec 2000
*Major Cash Handling
*Processed Withdrawals/Deposits
*Customer Service
*Cross Sold Financial Products

REFERENCES: Available Upon Request

So folks! Whatchu think? Am I ready to really go into the wild world of job-iddy look-iddy land?

It's been a long time...I shouldn't have left you...

2009-05-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

without a dope beat to step to...and I'm sorry BlogSpot... *hugs BlogSpot tightly* you know I love you, right? I mean, you and me have been through alot together...and you are always there when I need you...I know you feel the change in me...everytime I get ready to blog, something always comes up...I haven't been paying attention to you like I used to...well...the truth is...but...*patting the bed beside me for you to sit* there's something I have to tell you...I've been distracted because, there's someone else...His name is TWITTER!

Don't cry baby, I still love you...you know that...it's just I get lonely at home all day, alone...I don't get to interact with other adults...and TWITTER helps me do that...he understands my needs right now...he makes me laugh and keeps me in touch with new and interesting people... *blocks slap* no Bloggy, of course I think you're interesting, but you aren't always available to me...I can reach Twitty from my phone...*wiping tears away* but this is why I am finally coming clean... I want us to work this out! I am willing to get writer's counseling and be a better blogger to you than I have ever been before...but first you have to take me back...forgive me... *dropping to my knees in a dramatic display of emotion* please BlogSpot! *sobbing* I will do anything!

*cues up Please Don't Go by Tank*

I now NEED a BOAT!!

2009-03-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

If you know me...you know I LOVE irreverant and ridiculous humor...I was on my boy JBIGG's blog and he had this video posted...I HAD to share with the group!

I gots'ta get me a boat biiiiiiitch!

GOODY ROCKS THE RED PUMP!

2009-03-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

How well do you know your lovers?

What about the people they were laying with before they were laying with you?

In life, there are few guarantees and knowing your status is one of the most important things you can do for yourself! I have a few friends that have STS (Sexually Transmitted Situations)...you know, the diseases that you cannot take a shot to cure...there isn't a pill big enough to rid you of Herpes...Syphillis...or the biggest one of all...HIV/AIDS...I recently found out that a couple I know is infected with HIV! I was crushed for them! They are reeling from the news and aren't sure how, when, where or from whom they contracted this devastating disease...neither of them knows where to start to begin to process this living tragedy! Notifying past lovers, handling insurance nightmares, telling their friends and families...there isn't a word strong enough to describe the emotional roller coaster these two must be on right now...News like this is something no person ever wants to hear, or be involved in...please pray for them...

This tragedy made me think...made me pray...made me cry...and pray some more...

I know women who think it can't happen to them, but I KNOW better! There is no protection from this epidemic! It is touching married couples, gays, straights, children, the elderly and overwhelmingly WOMEN!

I got an email from LUVVIE asking me to support this movement...and it hit so close to home for me, I had no choice!

KNOW YOUR STATUS!!

Today is NATIONAL WOMEN/GIRLS HIV/AIDS AWARENESS DAY!

I can't type it enough!!!!

KNOW YOUR STATUS!

Did You Know:

-High-risk heterosexual contact was the source of 80% of the newly diagnosed HIV infections in 2005.

(high risk heterosexual contact is defined as unprotected sex, sex with a man that has sex with men, concurrent sexual relationships, and sex with a person that you know to be infected)

-AIDS is the leading cause of death for African American women aged 25 to 34 and HIV rates among Hispanic women are increasing.

-African American women accounted for 67% of estimated AIDS cases in 2004, but only 13% of the U.S. female population.

-Of the estimated 141 infants perinatally infected with HIV, 91 (65%) were black (CDC, HIV/AIDS Reporting System, unpublished data, December 2006).

ONE MINUTE

Went to my friend's funeral, hoping in peace he now rested...

Growing from a seed to a tree, had worse climate than the rest did...

From age 9, this water sign was abused and molested...

Had hard times but "Jesus walks" is what he'd say like K. West did...

Gave his heart, spirit, mind and his body unprotected…

The catch was this man had 2 lives, showed both sexes affection...

He was on the down low and wasn't fond of protection...

Until he came across this sweetheart, orange moon, bright reflection...

She turned him on to good health and sharing the gift he was blessed with...

Don't ask, don't tell she gave him everything he requested...

Months pass, he's crossing paths, returning to her w/ infection...

She gets a physical and blood test, and then what? Yeah you guessed it!

Honey has full blown AIDS, to make it worse, 2 months pregnant...

She’s in the ground, not breathing now, and her children are neglected…

Meaningful life cut in its prime because she never asked questions!

Protect yourself and your partner’s health, life ends quick when you’re reckless!

Moral of the story, know your status and no latex no sex kid!

When you lay with one, you’re sexing all the people they've slept with…

The realest shit ever spoke…so respect it…GET TESTED!!

© GOODENess 2008

QUIZES IS THE BIZNESS!!

2009-02-28T21:37:00.000-08:00

I know I am an open book, so I thunk to take a few quizes in an effort to get those horoscope-ish synopsis at the end...that can explain parts of me better thanI can...like a flavorless fortune cookie...so here goes...read these for me and see if you agree...disagree...why?

yeah I'm bored...sue me!

You Are 30% Left Brained, 70% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.

Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.

If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.

Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.

Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.

If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.

Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

You Communicate Honestly

You don't mince words. You are to the point and all about the facts.

However, you are charming enough to tell people the truth yet still not offend them.

It's likely that you have a hilarious, no holds barred sense of humor. And you sure tell an entertaining story!

You're also quite open. People can ask you anything, and you don't shy away from controversial conversation topics.

What Kind of Communicator Are You?

Your Sensuality Score is: 85%

You taste, smell, feel, see, and hear more strongly than most people.

Even the smallest sensual act can be quite divine for you.

You are a hedonist. You like to experience it all... whether it's food, art, music, or sex.

If you're not careful, you're apt to overindulge or get addicted to a certain pleasure.

How Sensual Are You?

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional

Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

You Are Warm and Social

You are optimistic and hopeful. Sometimes you do get disappointed by expecting too much.

You are very outgoing and friendly. You feel very comfortable in a crowd, and you can get to know anyone.

Money is fairly important to you. You aren't super greedy, but you enjoy spending money on yourself.

You are curious about ideas. If you had the means, you'd like to explore the whole world.

The City Walk Personality Test

You Are Cute!

Believe it or not, you are much more attractive than you realize.

You don't try too hard, and that's one of the cutest things about you.

You have a vibrant glow about you, and people are drawn to your energy.

You're not perfect, thank goodness. Your flaws are part of what's lovable about you.

Are You Cute or Sexy?

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone.

You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.

Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

WANNA PLAY??

2009-02-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

I am ALWAYS doing something...my b(earth)day (February 16th) is no acception! This year it was nationally recognized...I mean banks, schools and post offices all over the country were shut down for the GOOD GIRL's 29th Biological New Year! Ok maybe President's Day had a little something to do with it, but I like my version better...all hail the MYLF!

(getting my "Kanye" on)

This year, it was a little harder to plan an Annual Uterine Emancipation Celebration because the Saturday before my birthday was Valentine's Day...or Single's Awareness Day for those of us who ain't got nobody to cake with that day...lol...so I pushed my party back to February 21, 2009 adn celebrated in conjunction with PlayDate Dallas! It's a cool ass event that happens monthly in several major markets (Houston, Atlanta, etc) and this was my first time! They had lifesize Jenga, a Wii, Hungry Hippos, UNO, Connect Four, and even an itty bitty pool table...

and for those party people who don't enjoy throwback boardgames...there was Twister, a hoola hoop contest, and musical chairs...(I got second place)

my favorite part was the SIMON SEZ segment of the evening...SIMON had us doing everything from hunching the floor (yes I typed "hunching") to mean mugging the audience to doing little dance routines...and THEN to separate the SIMONs from the SEZers...SIMON SED..."it's time for the perculator!"

do you see me at the top?? do you?? GOTDAMN! and the rest is history...ALL HAIL the PlayDate Dallas SIMON SEZ CHAMP!! lol...
there is also a DJ...(ya'll KNOW I was loving that!!!)

and a BAR!

you just can't go wrong with a PlayDate!! After we left the event, we went to IHOP for cake! Read it!

If you didn't know, now you know! Now watch me blow it!

I had the WHOLE place singing me "Happy Birthday" and I was selling cake for a dollar...WHAT?! We are in a recession! I had a GREAT TIME and I would like to send speacial shouts out to my LOCAL BFF's:
DEE

and T(dot)MARTIN

with an honorable mention to my LONG DISTANCE BFF's
ABCDE

and REESE

AND to my eFriends LUVVIE and ALISE for the bee-day-blog-love!

Thanks for your support...I STAN YOU ALL!

The GOODest GIRL

my first haiku

2009-02-23T01:42:00.000-08:00

local distraction

from long distance attraction

leaves us as just friends

(C) GOODENess 2009

PRAISE REPORT!!!

2009-02-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have been spitting all around the DFW metroplex at different events and I was hired to spit at a private birthday party on Saturday, February 7, 2009 and an AMAZINGLY RANDOM BLESSING occurred! As it turns out, the focal point of this Annual Uterine Emancipation Celebration owns a collection agency that just happens to have an account in my name on their books...I had NO CLUE about this AWESOME twist of fate when I agreed to the gig. There were a few spoken word artists there to share their art in praise of the greatness that was the birthday boy...He looked like a Muslim w/ iiinidan in his family so for the sake of entertainment and the fact that I don't really want to put his gubmint name on blast like that...I will call him...HOTSALAMIBACON The event was BEAUTIFUL! His employees were wishing him birthday love and telling everyone what a good and decent man he is...even the spouses of his employees were almost in tears when wishing him many more to come! It was an honor to be participant in lifting up such a thoughtful and giving man! Giving him his flowers while he's still living kind of thing! He really is the change he wants to be in the world!! AWESOME I SAY!! HOTSALAMIBACON came over and thanked me for my contribution to his celebration...we exchanged well wishes and ego strokes and then I said "Since you love my work so much can you have your employees stop calling me?" I was joking...but then he said, "You're pretty, talented, and funny too! Give me your government name and your account number and I'll just write that off!" YAAAAAYYY!!! I was SO EXCITED! I jumped up and gave him a big hug around the neck! GOD IS GOOD!!!

TMI in 3...2...1...The most ironic part of this blessing is that the collection effort was for an eviction that I got when the co-parent was ass-clowning. I am relocating to another major metropolitan area in another state in July and I needed to pay that eviction off anyway so I could look for a new place in my new place w/o any trouble...so, I had just made a payment arrangements that were supposed to start on 2/16/09 (my b(earth)day) the day before this party! HOW DOPE IS THAT!???! It's like a sign that my move is the right choice for my life and my family right now! It made me happy inside and out...and as for the picture at the top!! I was feeling good...REAL GOOD!! can you blame me?

and oh yeah...I have got to wish a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my eCousin, WuDaMan!!!

my first (and last) poetry competition

2009-02-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

My girl, SHUG AVERY, had a "Love Jones" spoken word competition on 02/04/09 in honor of Valentine's Day (and shit) and she asked me to come out! So I did...I have NEVER competed because most poetic competitions don't have a theme or topic which creates confusion in the audience because you get every topic imaginable! How can you line up poets and gauge their work/talent if it's like comparing apples to pizza to shoe polish...but this one had a topic...Plus, I have been penning some rather romantic type shit here lately and I was excited to be able to get it off my my page and let it fall from my lips...so I committed to the show...

Let it be said that I am a very relate-able poetess...I am not a fan of "uber-deep-pseudo-couplets strung together because you look revolutionary doing it"...you know the kinds of joints that you really can't follow but nod in approval because you don't want other folks to think you're not deep enough to "get it"...NEWSFLASH!!! they probably don't get it either, but want others to think they do..just like you...I prefer to hear stories or thoughts with a beginning, middle and end...maybe something funny...thoughtful...even revolution can be tangible...something I don't need a works cited page to understand...I call that shit "8 page prose" and I am not a fan...(hey that rhymed)

There were so many poets there that I have mad luv and respect for that I was excited about sharing with...so I got there and was schmoozing and boozing with the like minded mortals, the way Goody tends to do, and SHUG told me that there was a brief open mic before the competition, like a warm up. I was hyped cuz I could spit some non-eros mind candy amongst my peers...the others thunk the same thing cuz these cats hit the stage spitting thesis length works on REVOLUTION!!

Then the "competition" began...Now, when you think "Love Jones" set you think ROMANTIC poetry...right?? right?? WRONG!! First of all, we all know that most dudes get into to spoken word for the drawls...so I was completely expecting some ass-tastic, pantie wetting, booty-calling poetry being released like a good nut from the rose petal covered stage...oh but no! these cats hit the stage and (once again) spit never ending rants about AIDS, OBAMA and BAD ASS KIDS...and I was confused-ed...to my surprise, I was the only (feminine) woman competing so I took the opportunity to follow directions and spit on topic...the "L" word...not LOVE, but some real hard LIKE... At this point, I was poetically intimidated because serving SWEET LOVE in a room that's been fed HOT UPRISING may not be received in the mood it was intended...long story short...I made it to round 2 of the Kee-Kee Shepherd-ing and was ultimately trumped by a dope sister named SHALE that gave us a living metaphor about CANDYLAND and the CANDYMAN (the US and BUSH)..it ain't make me feel all warm and fuzzy nor lovey and dovey...but it was HOT SHIT, no lie...lol...(yeah that's HER)

After that experience...I am 100% SURE (Maury) that poetic competition is like a 3some...seems exciting at first, but in the end it's overrated and too much work!

Be GOOD or Be GOOD AT IT... keep you eyes open for something sweet on the 14th!

destroyed...

2009-01-23T12:46:00.000-08:00

suffocating in his house made of glass but not a single window...
gasping for air on the bed he made, using the stones he can't throw for a pillow...
at first the union made perfect sense, now he enters and exits under mistrust's surveillance
harvesting 9 month fruit that was planted last summer while
holding back tears that want to fall like autumn leaves
from a tree with a wetness reminiscent of spring showers
only to be frozen into snowflakes by the cold shoulder of winter
wanting to remain intact but just existing,
not living, not getting only giving...life freys and splinters
into like, love and lust
the nightmare of once fertile soil turned to dust...
that never really was...
rising from submission to a reigning position...like the phoenix
example of living, loving, resilience, feel the realness
a shift in the paradigm of what should be and what is...
behaving as though it were
ship abandoned because the friend is a "her"...and now hurt...
the balancing act is off key and askew
unsure of how to shift the weight of the righteous thing to do
but honor prevails, a knight donning his armor to stand against adversity
universally
but his valor is muted in misguided preservation of imaginary peace
so he slumps suffocating in his house made of glass but not a single window...
eyes closed, head resting on the stones he dare not throw...
destroyed…

Shannon rhymes with Random...(16 bars)

2009-01-12T11:23:00.000-08:00

I know a GOOD dude named MONK that recently posted "16 Randoms" on his blog...essentially random and little know facts about himself...you know sharing w/ the group and sh1t...you're supposed to TAG people to participate in the exercise but Dame don't be following directins and sh1t!!So, I pretended that he tagged me and proceeded to try to type a Randomness joint of my own and realized that there isn't anything that's just really random about me that people don't already know...damn my open-booked-ness! So here is an attempt to try to tell you some sh1t you didn't know about this GOOD GIRL!(taking a deep breath)

1 - My mom doesn't (and has never) cooked...I was raised on Chinese food and Churches chicken...I live in TEXAS, so when my Southern folks start rattling off "soul food" that they love and sh1t...I can't even contribute...and as a result of my mom's culinary handicap, I learned to eat w/ chopstix before I could use a fork!

2 - I am a functioning NOMOPHOBIAC which means I have a fear of being without my cell phone...sad but true...my phone's name is KRYPTONITE and he even has a special spot in my bed!

3 - When I lived in CA (1985-1993), I was a breakdancer!

4 - I am ridiculously afraid of clowns...not this okeed doke...GASP A CLOWN! type sh1t.. I am talking all out, can't breathe, crying, screaming, bout to pass out ass AFRAID OF CLOWNS! My son wants a clown at his 6th b(earth)day party, and guess what? if the clown is there...mommy won't be!

5 - I don't eat watermelon (ANY melon for that matter), cornbread, pancakes, anything that ever had tenticles or jello...(unless it's in shot form, of course)

6 - In addition to my actual son, Clarence, I have 3 imaginary children...the twins, Carson (boy) and Clark (girl)and the baby Harlem Renai!

7 - I will always tell you if your breath hurts my feelings...

8 - Sometimes I talk with an English accent just because! When I was little, my sister and I would speak in fake as sign language to each other in public just to mess with people...lol

9 - Before I buy a new pair of heels... I hit a 3 point stance and take a lap around the store to make sure I can run in them!

10 - I don't have a FAVORITE RAPPER! I have a HIP HOP VIP section where all my favorites get along like vegetarians (no beef)! "We superstars, no Lupe"

11 - I am a handful! (kind of)

12 - I LOVE the smell of gasoline!

13 - When I was in kindergarten I was kicked out of Tyler Street Christian Academy for absolutely regfusing to go to chapel because I was convinced that there were vampires in there!

14 - I wish I was as indepedent as I pretend to be on TV...lol

15 - When I am alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall!

16 - I break out in random ass rhymes all the damn time, just to showcase my lyrical skill adn let niggas know how I feel...LM(red)AO!

CONDOMS ARE CHEAPER THAN CHILD SUPPORT...

2009-01-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

(Animal Planet theme song playing in the backround…insert Crocodile Hunter impression)

I'm sitting here, in what can only be described as a wildlife reservation for the natural habitat of the hoodus rattus maximus known to the world as the elusive (yet common) "baby mama"...people of the blogosphere, I am losing brain cells as I sit quietly in the waiting room of the Attorney General's Office, Child Support Division...

Ok, for real…I detest the term "baby mama" (and it's masculine counterpart "baby daddy") I prefer the term "co-parent", "child's mo/father" or you could even call the other person by their name... but (Katt Williams impression) this shit right here ni99a!! A FUGGIN FOOL! I hate that I walked in here and witnessed every “baby mama” stereotype on the planet! I see quick weaves that span the entire color spectrum, neck tattoos that spell out the ni99a's name they're in here to "put on papers" in the first place, grills, and more name brands than I even knew existed! and I am forced to ask myself, how the hell does one drive an Escalade on 22s with “bad bitch” in the paint job to the child support office, park it in a handicap spot, and then say they need financial assistance?? I am ear hustling in on the tales of "ni99as-aint-shit"-dom with each other (similar to that of trap stories of new inmates trying to earn street cred) and I am amazed at what these chicks have put up with to prove that they are "ride or die" for these WACK-tacular ass knee grows and I say HELL NAH.. I will ride, but I ain't dying! yeah I know I been watching too much "Oz"... but I am in hoodrat hell!

On top of all that, there is apparently a 3 (and a possible) minimum child requirement to be taken seriously up in here...I guess simple math dictates that the single mom w/ one child (and one co-parent) doesn’t have to be helped as quickly as a single mom with multiple prophylactic absent results...I call BULLSH!T! The income/family size grid says I have to make 27k a year OR have more kids to be expedited...f*ck both of those options!! Multi-moms have less personal time, more people to take care of, and arguably less sanity...and I ain’t gonna take a pay cut or explore superfluous reproduction just to get the “nice folks” at the Office of the Attorney General to do their job!

***interrupted mid-mental monologue by a fight between 2 women who were trying to put the same man on support and didn’t know it…did I mention that their kids were 3 weeks apart?***

After security cleared the disruption, I had the (dis)pleasure of filling out the application for child support… it was as thick as the Old Testament filled with phrases like “alleged father”. I mean really, Maury??? There were questions that asked about “distinguishing marks, scars, or tattoos on the alleged father”, “if the alleged father had admitted paternity to anyone else, if so, to who?”, and even asked “Why do you think this is the father of your child(ren)?” ummm… perhaps cuz we was fuggin was the answer I wanted to give, but resisted my inner asshole and colored within the lines like a good girl!

(shrugging)Eh well… eFolks the moral of the story is…be careful who you reproduce with… CONDOMS ARE CHEAPER THAN CHILD SUPPORT!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR (and shit)

2009-01-02T19:22:00.001-08:00

I don't usually make resolutions, but ummmm...I "resolve" to blog more often and shit...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Be GOOD or be GOOD AT IT!!!

LUVANMUSIQ

2008-10-28T12:49:00.001-07:00

Making Music
Bodies banging out a beat...
Pelvic bones on percussion...
You whisper in my ear...
I close my eyes and feel u thumping...
Chest to chest...mouths meet in heat...
We taste so good,
I'm struggling...
To keep myself from arriving too soon...
From a rhythm that causes eruptions...
Vocals rock with the rush we've got...
I hear u saying something...
Gripping hips, pulling hair, arching back, calling God and cussing...
Middles bump and grind to the knock of the bass drum...
Back arches, body rolling like the ancestors it come from...
Licks and kisses exchanged when lips and hips meet...
Brings in the horns, strings, and high hats and the rhythm retreats...
Climaxed, collapsed, song over, but the track's on repeat...
Eye contact and we slide back inside the boom bap of our beat...
no other artist can remix this joint or put on a better show...
No words when we part, souls bonded deeper than heart..
cuz we connected at The Roots a long time ago...

© GOODENess 2008

do not collect 2 hunnit dollars!

2008-10-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

alright ya'll... I am a fugitive, I admit it... I got tickets so old that they have been transferred to collection agencies...and I have been driving with a suspended license for longer than I am willing to admit on the internet...add to that that my license expired on my 28th birthday (2/16/80...commit it to memory ni99as I need presents!) and you got a bad sityo ready to happen...this is how it went down...I was driving along, minding my own business when I get pulled over my an unmarked police car...DAMN! secretly I'm hoping it's a big, fine, Black officer so I can get my Lil Wayne on...wee oooh wee oooh wee! and shit! but no such luck! I text my cousin "ni99a if I don't call you in 20 minutes, call TT to make arragements for III"... and my son's God Father "in jail...in DeSoto"...and waited with my hands visibly on the wheel...an older white man emerges from the vehicle and the dance begins...

officer: do you know why I pulled you over ma'am?
GOOD: because I was so stunning from afar that you just had to see me up close?
(laughing)
officer: maybe, but not quite, you crossed the solid white line...
GOOD: you got me on a technicality?!
(laughing)
officer: I need your license and registration ma'am
GOOD: I only have my passport because my wallet was stolen (lie) and here is my insurance...

*my insurance flipped over in September so that is the old card...the new one is chilling in my mailbox cuz I don't check it regularly so now u can add Failure to Maintain Financial Responsibility to my list of offenses... Officer Cobb stayed in the car for a LONG time and when the second car arrived I KNEW I was going to jail! FUCK!!*

GOOD: aw you called backup on me man? I thought we were cool?
officer: no way, you look dangerous...(wink) you kill anybody this week?
GOOD: nah, but it's ONLY Monday...
(laughing)

this back and forth continued all the way to the station including me mentioning that it was the first time I had ever been handcuffed when it wasn't for fun...lol...when we got the the jail I told Cobb (that's his name) I was going to struggle a little bit so the real criminals wouldn't think I was "soft" and that I was telling him now so he wouldn't taze me later...he agreed to play along and we went inside...

once I got processed I had already chatted up the jail clerks and processors. what? I am personable and non-threatening and shit...lol...plus, old white men LOVE me and I didn't know how long I was going to be there so I wanted to make friends in high places! some call it FLIRTING...I call it MARKETING!when I got into the cell, the other 3 girls in there were all on me...the pregnant one was like "why you still got your shoelaces, ponytail holder and tongue rings?" I didn't even notice that they hadn't taken that stuff...I was too busy smiling in my mugshots...then I got hungry...the white chick with the black boyfriend said if I buzz the front desk they MIGHT bring me a sammich since I got processed right after lunch...lo and behold I buzzed and they brought...my sammich had lettuce and tomatoes on it though...which further upset my "cell mates"...the salty ass meat on said sammich gave me a headache so preggo says "you can buzz for Tylenol, but it took them 2 hours to bring me mine"...so I buzz...

GOOD: Can I get some Tylenol please?
clerk: who is this, Gooden?
GOOD: yes sir
clerk: hold on

not even 5 minutes later I was getting handed some Tylenol through the slot in the door...this riled up the other chicks who had been having a vivid discussion comparing and contrasting the different jails around the metroplex! YIKES! so I laid on my mat and tried to nap before I got jumped in jail...not a good look...about an hour later there was a knock and the door opened..."GOODEN you're free to go!" YES!! My son's God father is also my lawyer and he got me out! My original game plan was to sit out my fines, but they total more than a "G" and DeSoto/Lancaster/Cedar Hill only pays $50 a day...EFF DAT! Preston knows I think I'm tough and shit, but he wasn't trying to let me earn my street cred as an inmate...LOL...THANK GOD my friend knows me so well!

Even with the special treatment, jail is definitely not the place for me! that was the longest 5 hours of my life...LOL...betcha thought it was longer huh? HA! nope!

Moral of the story...PAY YOUR TICKETS KIDS!

one minute...

2008-09-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

Went to my friend's funeral, hoping in peace he now rested...

Growing from a seed to a tree, had worse climate than the rest did...

From age 9, this water sign was abused and molested...

Had hard times but "Jesus walks" is what he'd say like K. West did...

Gave his heart, spirit, mind and his body unprotected…

The catch was this man had 2 lives, showed both sexes affection...

He was on the down low and wasn't fond of protection...

Until he came across this sweetheart, orange moon, bright reflection...

She turned him on to good health and sharing the gift he was blessed with...

Don't ask, don't tell she gave him everything he requested...

Months pass, he's crossing paths, returning to her w/ infection...

She gets a physical and blood test, and then what? Yeah you guessed it!

Honey has full blown AIDS, to make it worse, 2 months pregnant...

She’s in the ground, not breathing now, and her children are neglected…

Meaningful life cut in its prime because she never asked questions!

Protect yourself and your partner’s health, life ends quick when you’re reckless!

Moral of the story, know your status and no latex no sex kid!

When you lay with one, you’re sexing all the people they've slept with…

The realest shit ever spoke…so respect it…get tested!!

© GOODENess 2008

(sigh) I'm only going to type this once!

2008-09-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

PALIN is a mess! McCain tried to poke holes in Obama's short politcal career and then he goes and chooses new booty as a running mate? She has 5 kids! In today's society, who the fugg has 5 kids anymore? I'm sorry but gas costs too much for that! (I'm blame high gas prices and Jim Jones for EVERYTHING!) I only have one child and my hands are full! She isn't going to have time to do anything vice-president-ey cuz she needs to be off somewhere mommy-ing! WTF! As a single mom, I say...toddlers do NOT belong in the White House!! She needs to wait a few more elections and try again...and she is married but her husband needs a stylist! How in the HECK-CK+LL are you going to be in the spotlight and your man is standing to the side playing house husband in some Dockers and plain ass, white button down shirt EVERY TIME he is seen on camera!! In my mind, makes her a bad wife too!! (Take care of yo'KANG gal!) The only thing that makes her palatable is that she has a teenage daughter that is having a baby...on the outside looking in, it adds a human-ness to the McCain camp that wasn't there before, but then she goes all Desparate Housewives on us and there are rumors that she was going to fake a pregnancy to claim the grand-child as her own! Kill Yo'Self!! all that being typed and the fact that I am passionate ObamaMAMA not withstanding, I would like to go on record as saying...

McCain needs more McPeople!

SI SE PUEDE!

and the winner is...

2008-08-29T11:39:00.000-07:00

ME!! I love me some VSB...I am there daily and they just posted their 100th post! (confetti and air horns and sh1t) CONGRATS!! so in honor of such a magnanimous event, the Very Smart Brothers (and Liz) decided to actually create the VSB t-shirts...reveal the top 5 t-shirt slogan vote getters...and hand out "The VSB.com 100 Post Anniversary Commentator Awards"

My slogan “Smart b*tches have drama too” was one of the top those top 5 joints...(taking a bow) and I won an award!! I was so happy that I actually CALLED people to tel them that I won! lol... like there was a ceremony or something...I know, I need more people....but whatever, I was KRUNK TEXAS...it went like this...

***scene goes all wavy for the flashback sequence***

the goodeness corner award, for the most consistently outrageously entertaining comments, goes to, you guessed it, the goodeness herself…a woman who also has the distinct honor of receiving an award named after herself. good job and sh*t. 1st runner up, and probable 2009 winner: luvvie

and here was my acceptance speech...(clearing throat)

before I scroll up and read the intelligent ignorance that I’m sure has taken place…let me say…

COONNNNGRRRAAAATTTTUUUULAAAAAA-HOOO-HOOO-HAAAAY-HOOO-HOOOOO-TIOOOOOONNNNNSSSS!!! (Vesta style!)

I am so happy to be an active supporter of a MOVE-MEANT for ni99as that read and sh1t!! salud!

now…**smoothing out my wrinkled acceptance speech** YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME! (shout out to Sally Field) I am KRUNK TEXAS that I got an award for doing something I love to do! **turning on my over-articulate Black church lady impression** Givink honter tuh Gawt, Passuh, congruhgayshun and frints… lol…nah for real this time…I would like to thank VSB (and LIZ) and sh1t for creating a safe place for grown ups to be ignit as h3ll and drop knowledge all at the same time…I would like to shout out to my mom for not putting me on Ritalin all those years ago! Want to shout out to the Pink Ribbon Plantation for not blocking my daily dose of cerebral stimulation…last but not least I GOT to show love for my BFF “ABCDE” for getting me hooked on this man-based mind phuck…

I have GOT to say (type) that I love all ya’ll…my VSB(rothas and sistas), you all make my day at the plantation seem to breeze by! The site is a terrible drug, cuz I really feel like I know most of you for real but I wouldn’t know you if you grabbed my @ss and licked the side of my face in the street and yet most of you would be welcome to sit on my couch without the standard criminal background check and DNA test type of sh1t! (although you will still be required to provide a copy of your driver’s license, just in case…) so if you’re ever in MIC CITY (Dallas *muhfuggin* TEXAS) hit a sista up! we’ll do lunch!

how fuggin DOPE is it that the award ya’ll gave me is NAMED after me!???! (blushing) I am still geeking on that one!! NOW MY NAME WILL LIVE ON IN INFAMY!!! **evil laugh**

and to make a great honor even better...my e-fam MONK, gave me another award that was also (kind of) named after me, but not really!

*The “I Love Your Head” Award goes to…GOODENESS!! And no, it’s not your tongue rings…lol. I just enjoy your wit, humor, and ummm…brains.

and I said...

MONK…when I read that…I just KNEW you were gonna go left with it…but you kept it right! lol…I am all blushing and sh1t! THANK YOU LUV! (curtsy) cuz I’m a laaaady! this has been the best week ever for the GOOD…ya’ll make me smile!

This week has been a DOPE one for me:

MONDAY - last minute meet & greet w/ Musiq Soulchild
TUESDAY - Nas/Talib Kweli concert
WEDNESDAY - booked 2 passion parties for September
THURSDAY - got my very first web-based award (kind of)
FRIDAY - got my very second web-based award (kind-of)
SATURDAY - going to a red carpet magazine launch party

so e-folks...this has been the BEST WEEK EVER! for the GOOD one... ***happy dance*** just had to share that with the group and sh1t!

As always...be GOOD or be GOOD AT IT!

sh1t that apparently only happens to me...volume 1

2008-08-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

***the picture above was actually (secretly) taken at the "free clinic" yesterday and the brothers in the black and white t-shirts are the subjects of my post today***

Welcome to the maiden entry of a segment I would like to call (theme music) "shit that apparently only happens to me!"

Picture it...Sicily 1913..oh wait...wrong show...damn I loved the Golden Girls, didn't you? (RIP Estelle Getty)... ok focus GOOD, remain on task! Real talk, I'm a contractor and therefore don't have health insurance...so, being the hustler that I am, I figured out how to get general health exams and my chocha checked for free! I get muhfuggin checkups at Dallas County Health and Human Services aka the "free clinic"..now when u hear the phrase "free clinic" do u think romance? perhaps love at first sight? H3LL NAH!!!I think pissing fire and penicillan shots. Not my idea of a great place to pick up women...oh but the 2 musketeers in the picture above (that I secretly camera-phoned in the waiting room) seem to feel differently...I was approached by each of these men...not approached as in "hey sista can you tell me what time it is?"...approached like "do u stay around here, pretty red?"..."your hat is that fiyah, I like your style mama..." and my personal favorite "whatchu doing when u leave here?"...you should have seen my face! it was a cross between NIGGA REALLY? and a smile for fear of hood related retaliation...and for the record "FIYAH" is not really a word that should be uttered in a "free clinic", yes?

so I asked myself...self...catching rhythm at the free clinic...great or gross? my answer...GROOS...whether he is a doctor that's impressed with my "stirrup game" or a fine hood-style babymaker with crotch rot the whole approach is suspect...u know why?? huh? huh? do ya?? cuz it's the fuggin "free clinic" that's it...that's all..

so today's segment of "shit that apparently only happens to me!" has been brought to you by our proud sponsors at Trojans, where the new slogan is "Trojans are cheaper than child support!" and the letters "W" "T" and "F"...thank you for your time and attention...you may now return to your regular scheduled program already in progress!

lights schmights...

2008-08-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

In the last few months, I have been going through a type of psycho-socio-economic struggle that I have NEVER encountered before...I am talking the types of challenges that I have seen crumble lesser individuals... To say that my lights getting cut off while the male gamete chromosome donator is eating out everyday and getting pedicures and sh*t was weighing on my normally positive and progressive spirit would be a bigger understatment than calling Souljah Boy an "artist"!! Not even 15 minutes ago I was reaching a point when I was feeling overwhelmed, overextended and so many other less than happy OVER-emotions...head on desk...verge of tears...phone rings...a bill collector...sigh...something said answer it this time it can’t gat any worse…well I answered and the lady on the phone was from Ford, she said I qualified for a DOUBLE payment deferment if I pay this month’s note…so I scheduled a post dated check and I don’t have to make another payment until October…can you see the tears running down my face!!!! RIGHT when I was ready to just crumble from frustration…GOD stepped in and made a way…like He always does!!! I am still sitting here trying to fix my face!!! I am beside myself with joy and I had to share this with somebody...anybody...you guys...the e-fam...AMEN!!!!

did you know? (quarterly rant...)

2008-08-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ok…I know I am busy…and that makes it hard to “date” and sh*t…but when I am approached by someone I find attractive and engaging…I make an honest effort to connect. When I type “connect” that is not code for “f*ck”. It means I want to get together in a well-lit, public place and have a face to face, get to know you better vibe session to decide if my initial assessment of your bang-ability was correct…I have been wrong on this sh*t before people so I am not wasting anymore time on the “bait and switch” bullsh*t that is taking over the single free world… so…since I am a civic minded individual, here are two things that I have realized are NOT common knowledge that irritate the F*CK out of me:

1. DICK PICS – at this point we have already exchanged contact information and have spoken at least once. I am a visual woman, so I usually ask for a picture for my photo ID after I have decided that you are worth actually saving in my phone. A word to the wise, if/when I ask for this picture…DO NOT send me a picture of your “meat puppet”! You may not be “working with” what you think you are and will not only get clowned for being so presumptuous, but relegated to the DNA (do not answer) section of the phone with your “love muscle” as your photo id picture…and I will show all my girls too, if it’s really a fool mess that you should have kept to yourself...even if it’s a really mouth-wateringly good looking piece, I am forced to DNA you on GP…but I will pause for the cause (read: close my eyes, bite my bottom lip and fantasize about riding you into the sunset) before I do…moral of the story…(unsolicited) dick pics are a deal breaker…

2. SCHEDULING - if you had the good sense to avoid the DICK PIC pothole and we make plans…you are officially on the calendar…that means I won’t schedule your designated time slot with anyone else! So honor our appointment! I am a busy sister with lots of sh*t to do! I hate when dudes realize (and witness) what my life is like and then try to pull these last minute “come see me, baby” type joints! First of all…I am NOT coming to see YOU…we both know what that means…and accidentally f*cking dudes under the thinly veiled excuse of “kicking it at the crib” has landed me a stalker or two, so I’m over it! Not to mention what MAN would ask a WOMAN to drive across town (at night or at all) to come see him? I mean you won’t get to know where I live until like date #3 (or #8) but don’t even ask me to your place off top…Even if gas wasn’t higher than my credit score, I can chill at my own damn place! Ni99a!! so you need to take a b*tch somewhere…well not really “take” but meet me there and pay for my food and sh*t..LOL (I use b*tch in jest…if you don’t like it…stop reading my sh*t)

Bottom line…if you are just trying to f*ck…say so…you might be surprised…but don’t play like you give a sh*t about anything other that finding out how I got my screen name (I didn’t name myself, you know?) Just be honest…like I said, I got sh*t to do!

This concludes the “shit I wish ni99as knew” rant for the quarter…thank you for coming out, God bless you, goodnight!

no home...penned 7.21.08

2008-08-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

***original artwork "priorities" by Jeremy Biggers ***

A good friend of mine gave me a poetic assignment...move my pen to the beat of that which is living in the street...so I did...like to read it? here it goes...

They see me sitting on the curb and cross the street…
Size me up, tattered clothes, dirty hair, shoeless feet…
Staying discreet…eyes don’t meet…I bake in sweltering heat…
Pretending that I’m not pissed off to see “decent” folks bow heads and retreat!
No one stops to ask, how I got in this position…
Maybe a war vet that came home to a cold US reception…
Couldn’t find a job, got robbed and fell into a dismal depression…
Might be a crack head that lost my way on the road to redemption…
Times got hard on the boulevard and I fell back into my addiction…
What if I was an eccentric millionaire testing society’s hidden affliction…
Exploring the latent prejudice of how we treat our street ridden…
But I’m not…
Got good sense, went to school…had no gun, pulled no trigger…
Playe the fool, thought it cool, labeled my self a ni99a…
Out on my own, life’s a b!tch, yeah she’s fine but she’ll trick ya…
Saw my life crash and burn through broken bottles of licka…
They took my kids, I lost my job, adversity never did stop…
I lost my will…numb and still…the curb is my pillow top…
The moon my night light…Sunrise alarm clock…
Can’t get a job because I don’t have an address with a door and a lock…
So I walk…F*CK!!!!
I got so much on my plate…
Everything I get is late…
Oscillating between self pity and hate…
Can’t seem to make this crooked life…straight…
Trying hard to see the silver lining…
Nimbus rains…pleasantry declining…
But I ain’t no whining…
Type of cat…just a woman with no design,
So I recline…and marinate on that…

© GOODENess 2008

It's hard out here for a MYLF...

2008-07-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

I have a friend that is married and getting ready to have a baby…he is geeking about becoming a father and asked me some “kwerstchuns” about parenthood and junk, because he values my opinion…(what?? Don’t look at the screen like that!! I’m smart and insightful and shit! LOL) He suggested I post the answers…and since I do as I am told (when I want to)…here are two of them…

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE “PARENTHOOD”?
I would describe parenthood as…the process of teaching your child(ren) the things you know to be true…the lessons you have learned the hard way…and giving them the tools to make productive, effective, positive decisions for themselves…it’s a PROCESS for sure…there is not a wrong or right way to do it…and we are all different…Like Chris Rock said…as a daddy, your only job is to keep your daughter off the pole! Lol… I talk to my son like a little person… he has good reasoning and deduction skills because of it…BUT…that isn’t always a good thing for a 4 year old to have…he is very smart!! his 14 year old cousin told me that he makes her feel stupid…lol… and then…you have the times when your influence, comes back to bite you in the arse…last night he made me want to jump off the balcony…

(back story) for the last 6 months or so, the co-parent has lived around the corner from us, but isn’t nearly as active as a father should be…especially since our son is AWESOME…you’d think he’d be excited to play daddy…but he’s not…anyway…the genius is going back overseas to work…indefinitely…he worked overseas until Aug07 so my son hasn’t always had his daddy in his life…but I had been in a deeply committed relationship since Clarence was a year old (until April ‘07) so he had a great, consistent male influence…wait...I am all over the place…let me focus…my son thinks rationally…too rationally… last night my (beautiful) son asked me…”mom, since daddy is going over the seas, and (insert past love’s name here) isn’t our friend anymore, does that mean that I don’t have no daddies at all?” WTF??? I cried…a hard, gut shuddering cry…this is an example of the gift and the curse that is parenthood… you teach them well…and your sensitive areas are revealed by the simplest questions… and it re-opens shit you thought you had handled…like the fact that my son doesn’t have a man…an needs one more than I do…

If you are active in your children’s lives, you are so special….male presence in the family makes me smile… because I know what the absence of it can lead to…

WHAT SACRIFICES HAVE YOU MADE?
I can’t say that sacrifice is the right word to use…I don’t feel like I have given up anything to be a mother… I love this job! I can’t come and go as I please…and my money doesn’t go as far as it would if I were “single” (meaning no child) but it doesn’t bother me in the least…it’s a part of responsible parenthood… I think it would hamper more selfish people though…to be honest…but it’s a trade that is immeasureable in worth… but I will say this…BALANCE IS PARAMOUNT!! There are myths about not being able to live your same pre-child life plans, but you can…it just takes more effort…I got pregnant in college and was a triple major (finance, accounting and entrepreneurship) but I had to drop two of them…then I got divorced and had to rebuild my life…so I stopped school, moved back to Dallas (I was in Houston) and got a job and a place…I had never lived by myself…or worked to live before… and I waited until Clarence was 2 before I went back to school…I finished my undergrad in September of last year on my son’s 4th birthday…and it was a celebration for us both! It was even sweeter to me that he was there for the whole thing, because I showed him that you can do whatever you set your mind to…regardless of what life has in store for you…rain makes rainbows…and I dance in the rain…so anything that I changed or remixed due to the fact that I am a mother…a single mother…was well worth it… I also keep my “dating” life separate from my “mommy” life…but that is understood…it’s complicated sometimes, because my son is such a big part of me that keeping my suitors at bay where my son is concerned is challenging…but he has only been around one man (other than his dad) and when he and I split…I saw my son’s heart break because my heart was broken and I will NEVER put him through that again…he wanted to “bite” him in the face and tell him “not to EVER make his mommy cry again”…and that tore me up…I am not single because of my son, by a long shot…but I am conscious of the fact that the man in my life, will ultimately be the man in his…and I haven’t met anyone worth bestowing that title upon…yet…

the very first time...

2008-06-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

Last night I did an open mic… It was a family friendly event, so I took my big boy with me…he was SO excited…I never realized that he didn’t know I spit…but when the EmCee called “GOODENess” to the stage and everybody started clapping (this is one of my more regular spots) his little eyes lit up… he stood up in his chair and was clapping too! He made me SO nervous! Lol… when I got crowd luv during my time, he said “go mommy!”… then when I got back to my seat, he ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug…and said he was “proud” of me… and I did an “awesome” job… it’s funny because that’s how I talk to him… and it made me feel really good to hear… I guess that’s how he feels when it comes from me…everybody was commenting on what a good by he was and how much they enjoyed his mommy's work, he really enjoyed the positive attention... last night was the very first time, my son saw his mommy share her art... It made my soul smile... I am still beaming now...just had to share... spek easy!

LUVANMUSIC

2008-06-18T14:38:00.001-07:00

I AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC! Of all the blessings that God gave us to feed our earthbound spirits, MUSIC is my favorite… it’s the most universal, simple form of expression on this planet! Honestly, the word LOVE isn’t big enough…MUSIC is my HEARTBEART! I tell everyone, “Life has a soundtrack!” I listen to everything from blue grass to sohk…reggae to jazz…country to calypso…soul…gospel…pop…alternative…but of everything I expose myself (and my son) to, hip hop is my most favorite love child!

I have had a crush on music all of my life…but I can remember the exact day I, excuse the cliché, “Fell in love with hip hop”…Wednesday, May 10, 1995 (DAMN this date is significant as hell, twilight zone music), I remember because my daddy moved back to Texas Mother's Day 1995, but that has nothing to do with this post other than giving me a benchmark to remember me and my true love's anniversary, so I digress, excuse my tangent...It was a hot summer day in Dallas, TX, the school year was almost over and I was on the late school bus (after cheer practice)… This senior I had been crushing on, Michael Cameron (hmmm…there is an intimate coincidence in the name “Michael” or MIC and its role in my actual “love” life, but that won’t ever make it to a blog, so back on task)…where was I, oh yeah…Michael was on the bus that day…and I was glad to see that the ONLY open seat was next to him (swoon)…we were cool (most of my crushes think I am MAD COOL, but don’t ever pursue “The COOL”, ya dig?) and he was bobbing his head to the beat coming from his earplugs…he saw me watching him, smiled, and offered me one of his earphones…we sat hugged up in that seat, bobbing to the beat, smiling at the clever word play and images in our mental videos…THAT IS WHEN IT HAPPENED…

Just think, what if you could just, just blink yourself away?
Just think, what if you could just, just blink yourself away?
Jeff X can rock the MIC with tooth decay
I be the 5 foot 7, residing at the Mecca lesson south section
Used to cut class in the infinite pursuit of ass
Back in eighty-six!

I was enamored with the voice, the language, the delivery, the imagery, and the cool cadence of what I was hearing…”Proceed” by The Roots, is the note that hip hop sent me in class that asked… “Do you like me? circle YES or NO”…and thus the CRUSH GROOVE began…

I met another lover in SPOKEN WORD in 2000, Hip Hop’s twin brother… I began to “spit” my thoughts on MICs across MIC city...WORD was DOPE and we are still together going stronger than ever…building a kingdom of better…FINDING FOREVER!

In 2004, I was given my own personal MIC…an experience that enhanced everything I already held in my soul for my mate…helped my rhythmic adoration grow in leaps and bounds, clicks and sounds, and showed me an appreciation for the creation and production of the music behind my love… which open doors to DONUT shops and showed me my LITTLE BROTHER the 9th WONDER of the world…

Over the years, my affection for all creative expressions of a soul’s art has grown exponentially… I didn’t think I could ever feel this kind of euphoria from an inanimate concept…but MUSIC does it for me…it makes me happy when I’m sad…sad when I’m happy…it makes me thoughtful…grateful…it inspires me…makes me remember things I wish so desperately to forget…desire things I have yet to completely embrace…and every thing in between…

What makes YOU give up your ?love and allow you to exhale?

Father's Day 2008

2008-06-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

(unfortunately I don’t have ANY pics of this event! drunk, much?)

I am an advocate for the school of thought that believes that tradition in an impediment to innovation! That being typed…guess how the GOODENs rung in Father’s Day? We (my sisters Remica, 34 and Tiffany, 27 and I, 28) subconsciously divided the day into 3 phases, and each of us was over one phase…Remi was over the day activity, Tiff was over the meal selection of the day, and yours truly was in charge of evening entertainment…I decided that our handsome, loving father should stimulate his “lust” life…Remica took him to the mall and bought him an outfit… Tiff embraced Daddy’s love Asian ish so we went to a Chinese buffet for LUNNER (lunch+dinner)…and then we dropped him off at home with instructions to be shit-ed, showered, shaved, dressed (in his new outfit) and ready to G-O by 9.30pm!

“Where are ya’ll taking the old man?” he asked pensively, knowing that his most extroverted daughter (ME) was the ring leader of the evening Father’s Day activities…

(evil laugh) “just get dressed and start making our pre-evening cocktails please knee grow?”… (yeah, my Daddy is my ni99a…it’s normal for us)

We head to my place and get all GOODENed up…we decided at the last minute to all wear little black dresses, to match Daddy…but they didn’t pack any…problem solved…I am a clothes elephant (passed ”horse” years ago) I had like 10 LBDs in my closet (2 with price tags still hanging) so we got our Destiny’s Child on…you know…the same but different…lol…all stunning, but of course there was an obvious stand out… (blushing)

We scoop the old man…DRINK…and go to Walmart to debit over for the cash for our evening…Daddy walked off and we had to hunt him down, macking on some young tender in the produce section… now that I type that…I understand why people were staring…we were all dressed alike (short dresses, tall heels) calling a middle aged man “Daddy”…they must have thought he was out pimp! hilarious! But I digress… we got to our destination…STONE TRAIL…(shout outs to Don Diego and the Razz Band!) yes people…for Father’s Day 2008, the Gooden family took our proud poppa to the CLUB!

It was SO FUN! We danced to almost every song…My Daddy was getting his mack on…and the guys were asking him if they could dance with us, as if he really was our “MAN-ager”…LOL…we hustled a few free drinks for him and ourselves and had a GREAT TIME! We played HOLLA BACK (the phone number game) and HE won! (shrugging) I get it from my Daddy! The most UN-traditional Father’s Day celebration of all time! Well, not for my family…but maybe for the rest of the world…his b-EARTH-day is in 2 weeks…you know what he’s getting? Guess…c’mon…guess…

(drum roll please)

WE are getting dear old dad a tattoo for his 51rst Biological New Year!

What did you do for Father’s Day 2008?

How will YOU being today?

2008-06-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine wrote a post about the “End of Days”…initially it made me sad…it's premise was thought provoking in and of itself… but being the introspective soul that I am…I asked myself…”self, what are you waiting for?” The post made me think of the opportunities that I’ve squandered, overlooked, or didn’t pursue in my life. I have personal and professional life goals and specific plans of action to achieve those goals…but somewhere along the way, I got sidetracked, setback, distracted by a shiny object, whatever you want to call it… My dear friend’s post led me to evaluate my life…it’s circumstance…it’s joy…it’s triumph…and it’s apathy…I am not content in my current life state…and have fallen victim to the inactivity that the fatigue of survival often brings…and when I attempt to ameliorate my discontent, I feel like a 500 pound person at the gym…I just don’t know where to start…SO…the cycle continues…NOT TODAY!!!

I got so buried in bills and bullshit that I loosened my mind’s grip on my life plans in order to hold on to my sanity! I have only been off the path that I laid out for myself by 6 months or so…but that is MORE than enough for me…I have seen those that speak on dreams deferred, drowned in a sea of “maintaining”…I won’t do it! I won’t show that existence to my legacy! I refuse!! I am frustrated and drained by my efforts to break even…the inactivity of my co-parent…the absence of support for my mental/emotional health…the exasperation at my awkward unwillingness to submit myself to another soul on the necessary level to facilitate the growth of something deep enough to provide a relevant, consistent male role model for my little prince…sometimes I feel like I am “groping at smoke for my mind, or the readily dissolving remnants of it” (Jill Scott)…I exhale…regroup…look in the mirror…wipe my frustration's tears and smile…because I know RAIN MAKES RAINBOWS!

When I am gone from this world, I want people to say things about me and my existent that will bring peace and comfort to my son as he mourns my loss…I want him to know that his mom died as she lived... a positive spirit that followed her dreams…achieved her goals…supported the aspirations of her son…genuinely treated people the way she wanted to be treated…learned from her mistakes and was a good, soul-filled, loving woman…I live today, so that my son can be comforted by the honest memory of his mother when my days are done…the good, the bad, and the ugly!

“Every now and then you have to ask yourself, do you really want to win…or just look good losing?” ~ Little Brother!

I being today, looking for a more fulfilling job, investigating the certifications, classes, degrees etc necessary to accomplish my professional life desire a Human Sexuality Professor (Sexologist) and effective Social Activist…How will YOU begin today?

ahaaa hush that fuss...everybody move to the back of the bus!!

2008-05-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

As you can tell from my “Mother’s Day 2.0” post…gas in TX is definitely as “high as giraffe cat”… I drive an Explorer XLT aka “SUPERFORD” and I LOVE my truck and I don’t want to trade it for something less petro-heavy…but it costs 76 bux to fill her fly ass up! So, as a result of my efforts to find more cost effective ways to avoid getting a second job (or a sugar daddy) to pay for gas, I am parking and riding now...that is I am parking my truck at a transit center and riding the DART (Dallas Area Rapid Transit) to the farm...(flipping through the classifieds for part time dominatrix positions)

I have not ridden a bus in over 14 years and I was eerily geeked about it…(like in a freshman on the first day of high school kind of way…) I went online to find out what buses/trains I need to take to get from pre-school to the plantation before “massuh” started her thinly veiled “desk checks” under the guise of “Good Morning”! Train leaves at 6:56am…OMG! I do NOT do mornings…so…

I carefully planned my travel friendly outfit and made sure my “work purse” was packed the night before...I woke up at 5, re-showered (yes I said re-showered) and got ready…woke the legacy up at 530 and left the house at 610… tried to stop to get the boy some donut holes, but the bootleg donut place we frequent wasn’t open yet…WTF? I thought donut places opened at like 5…but I digress…stopped at the gas station and got his a honey bun instead (we gotta improvise sometimes) and still got him to school at 637 and got the Ledbetter station in enough time to park, grabbed me a Quick newspaper, stand in line to buy a ticket, and ask the regulars which ticket to buy…lol…I felt like Mary Tyler Moore…I wanted to take off my hat and throw it in the air… “I’m going to make it after all!” it was so easy…it really was like the first day of high school! I befriended a nice group of smoking white ladies who admired my neck-too (the cool seniors)…I asked where I was supposed to go to catch the 183 (like trying to find homeroom)…there were poles with the bus numbers on them, so it was easy when I looked…an as soon as the train let us off…the bus was right there and pulled out as soon as we got on! the “express” was packed, men were giving up their seats for women…I was so proud of them…and there were minimal “crazy folks”… I guess they aren’t up that early…I don’t really have to walk very far, so I can wear heels on occasion and still be comfy! the only things I have to have to continue my public transportation adventure is some kind of music player and a bus pass because $3 a day for a day-pass is defeating the purpose of the financial conservation experiment…I also decided I will be dressing a little more like my regular (when not at work) self because I will be crossing paths with more people and there were so many nice looking employed people trying to save gas money too…I want to blend in…lol…I have also noticed I am in a better mood today…the commute must have been a contributing factor to my mood…YEAH ME! I deserve a gold star by my name! I think I will buy some with all the money I am saving by riding public transportation (and switching to GEICO)!

As always…be GOOD or be GOOD at it…speak easy!

(this message was brought to you by our favorite corporate sponsor… please enjoy responsibly…don’t drink and drive! Drink and ride the bus!!)

Mother's Day 2.0

2008-05-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

Times are changing…in this age of instant gratification, internet everything, and life moving at the speed of John McCain’s Viagra supply…It’s hard to hold on to the little things that make life sweet…like Mother’s Day! Gone are the days of a macaroni necklace, a construction paper card and runny ass pancakes and eggs masquerading as breakfast in bed…oh no…now these millennium moms want Blackberries, spa days, and new cars for crying out loud…I remember when the memory of a few flowers from the neighbor’s yard in your favorite My Little Pony collectible glass would get you out of a well deserved “ass whoopin” well into June…the good ole days of inedible homemade heart shaped cookies that she would pretend were delicious until you turned your back so she could spit them into her napkin are dead and gone people! The saddest part of this travesty of tradition is, I am one of these moms… my son is only 4.5 years old so I fully intend to not only wear my MACARONI NECKLACE with pride…but create a color coded outfit to showcase my hand crafted aldente accessory…but for the grown ups that are sweet enough to call and ask “(insert government name here), what do you want for Mothers’s Day?” I am thoughtful enough to reply with the most useful, honest, and tradition-less response I can muster…”a gas card”…plain and simple…I drive an Explorer XLT, people…”back in the day” when gas was a meesly 2.5 bux, it cost fiddy bones to put the “super” Ford on “F”! now? PUSHWATER is running at a staggering 3.53 per gallon! That’s higher than my credit score! So if you are reading this…and you aren’t quite sure what to get your maternal unit for Mother’s Day, Baby Mama Day (also celebrated on April Fool’s), or whatever kind of matriarchial mayhem you celebrate in your household …before you break out your safety scissors, spray glitter, and pipe cleaners…think about these two words …GAS (muhfuggin) CARD…trust me, she will like that much better than that slicing, dicing, peeling wheeling, thingamabob you were going to order from the infomercial…I mean, does your mom even COOK anymore?? Seriously?… (releasing a sigh of relief) I am SO glad I got that off my chest…

This concludes today’s public service announcement brought to you by your local BMA (Broke Moms Anonymous) chapter… where our motto is,
“we may not have the dough…but our kids will never know”…
you may now return to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress…

SERIOUSLY, what are you YOUR Mother’s Day Plans?

kiss IT good-bye! waiting to exhale...I think...

2008-04-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

Since April 6, 2007 I have been under the most drastic personal re-construction effort I have ever been thrust into in my life…the transition started February 19, 2007…that is the day that I realized that the love that gave me a glow that everyone could see from miles away, was over…now, that being typed…Let me explain, a little…Ito say I got my “heart broken”…would be putting it lightly…I was physically, mentally, and emotionally (but not spiritually) disrupted…I had to no appetite, I couldn’t sleep, looked a mess, and couldn’t focus for too long on anything…I couldn’t even listen to music…and my real friends know, music makes my heart beat! I didn’t want to be bothered with the details or drama of anything even remotely resembling a relationship (from now on referred to as the “R” word)…There was only one problem…I LOVE SEX! Now I didn’t even start giving my phone number out again until mid July…and I was “back in the saddle” by August…the issue was, I didn’t want the “R” word…I just wanted the “D”…ya dig? I have been pretty much operating that way since then… I have run into issues from the guys I meet trying to lock me down, but I am in no way, shape or form ready for that…it’s crazy I can share my body but not my heart with someone, but it’s true…it wasn't "random" but I wasn't "making love" either...I find power in my sex, in the act of dominating and being dominated, in the fact that no matter what else is going on in the world in that moment…I am all that matters…it’s a RUSH! An ESCAPE! But when I awake from my cum drunk binge of naughty-ness, I am still not satisfied… like country folks say ”same thing make you laugh, make you cry”…and really there hasn’t been any “piece” that I have come across that has been able to quench that thirst in me…not since February…(fist on chin, looking into the sky in "reminisce" mode) he was AWESOME, but the satisfaction was because we had so much more than a physical dynamic to nourish our connection…I am absolutely terrified of opening myself up to the mere possibility of being shattered again... I am not even sure if I can allow another person that deep inside my "self" again…so I know the "R" word isn’t in the cards for me right now …and playing my part was fun for a while, but, pimping ain’t easy! I am getting bored with satisfying others and not being satisfied myself…I enjoy the high of being the “reality based fantasy” but not the disappointment of not getting my own fantasy fulfilled…so instead of wasting the GOODENess…I decided (a while ago) to keep it to myself…well me, myself, and my BULLET! I know this may be a shock to some…but it’s true…when I say things out loud, they don’t come to fruition so this was (and still is) a private choice that will remain so…I am not claiming to be abstinent, celibate, or anything else…I am just gonna play sex on the low…if I devote too much energy to embracing it or ignoring it, I will lose focus on what I need to me working on…and that is figuring out what the hell I want for myself…my plan is to be on “vacation” from the act until I can be clear about what I want from the connection…I’ve been told that it’s not fair to let someone bask in the sunshine, make it rain, and then cause a drought…but oh well…my choice is a genuine one…which is why this is probably the ONLY post of this nature I will write…I don’t think the world needs to know what’s going on in my “drawls”, whether it’s something or nothing…but my girl's opst inspired me to speak on it...well type on it, lol…I’m a very sexual woman so this has been a challenge…but I have been “sober” for a little while… it only takes 21 days to start/stop a habit…and I am way past that mark…LOL…I am still the shit talking, energized, deep thinking, music loving, spirit driven, poetic freak that I have always been…which is the beauty of the privacy of my choice…just wanted to share with the "group"...as always…BE GOOD or BE GOOD AT IT…and speak easy!

INK...drawn 3.28.08

2008-04-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

Got ink?
Those silent statements that make men think...
Each one a short story for those curious enough to ask "What's that and why?"...
To that inquiry, this piece serves as my standard reply...
Gye Nyame behind my right ear...
To remind mankind,
its only God that I fear...
An 8 inch Dragon in all Black, Black...
Behind my right shoulder,
he can always watch my back...
Enflamed Superman "S" behind me at back's base...
A gift for a lover that cannot be erased...
Super also epitomizes my strength...
Flames in sync with kryptonite's wavelength...
A single star on my butt cheek for no reason at all...
It covers my birthmark cuz I was born a star ya'll...
A testiment to music and our deep relationship...
Luvanmusiq is the symbol that graces my left hip...
The triple spiral, a Celtic symbol for womanhood's stages, so blessed...
Has been painted on the left to the left of my right breast...
Get right or get left!
Below that on the right side ribs dwells an Angel...
She's very special to me, although her existence is painful...
Left ankle holds a butterfly, a living tribute to my parent paternal...
In unique circumstance, gave this man a second chance, from it grew a bond eternal...
Another piece on my left foot to cover a scar...
What better way to do that than the Dallas Cowboy's star...
Right across on the right lives a Red Phoenix on my wrong foot...
I be, like she, emerging from rubble and soot...
Created when engulfed in flame...
Not to die, but to be born again...
Still I rise, stronger and more learned then before...
To fly on wings of life lessons and on successes I soar...
Too beautiful to ignore...
Each time needle meets flesh...
The reasons manifest...
Images chosen with meanings of depth...
Pictures with the power of speech like the hieroglyphs of Hotep...
A walking canvas of permanent expressions...
Of wisdom gained through learning life lessons...
Never to be forgotten, still worn when completely unclothed...
Adorned by ink that alludes to stories untold...

© GOODENess 2008

ABCDE's E-eff-GEEEEEE!!!

2008-04-24T10:05:00.000-07:00

Friday, April 18, 2008 was the 10th anniversary of my “girlfriend” Chris’ 18th birthday (that’s 28 for you slow folks)…in recognition of this magnanimous event, we decided to road trip to Houston for “Tattoos, Tequila, and Table Dances”. After a few months of careful tattoo selection, we loaded up 2 vehicles and rolled out! The folks that rolled were: (in almost completely random order)

CHRIS (the birthday girl)…

XZAN (the birthday girl’s best friend)

DEPHANIE (the birthday girl’s co-worker)…

DEE (the birthday girl’s best friend’s cousin)…

ANDREA (the birthday girl’s best friend’s homegirl)…

ME (the birthday girl’s OTHER best friend)…

Our weekend went as follows…
FRIDAY we got tattoos @ the world famous Dago’s…That night, we went to a club called The Office…SATURDAY we tried to single handedly stimulate the economy at the outlet mall! That evening we participated in Chris’ favorite game…BILLIARDS…

we went to Dave & Buster’s, cozied up to the bar-TENDER, John,

and shot a few games of pool…She’s gonna be a shark when she grows up!

SUNDAY we went the Fountain of Praise to celebrate our God and all the wonderful things he’s done for us! We also took a pledge to speak (be) positive for the next 21 days, because it takes 21 days to start/break a habit. That evening, we did one of MY favorite things to do…SPIT! We went to the Shadow Bar for some spoken word…ABCDE (Chris’ spit alias) was supposed to get on the MIC, but forgot her paper and didn’t want to hit the stage “naked”…I, of course, got on the performance phallus, because I hadn’t spit in a month and need the release! Then we hit Scott Gertner’s Sports Bar but it was so packed we couldn’t stay…so we hit the Dave & Buster’s across the parking lot for MORE DRANKS and POOL! Well, maybe more DRANKS than POOL...LOL

MONDAY we headed back to the “D”…we made one last pit stop at Dago’s on the way out so I could get my tongue pierced…and then we hit the road…

I had a GREAT time…I can’t wait for someone else’s birthday!!!

inspired at an artshow...

2008-04-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

I was at an artshow...
Standing in a room filled with tat'd ankles...
Wooden bangles...
Locs and braids w/ acute and right angles...
Body art expressing African sentiment...
Kinky hair...sprouts from deep mind w/ cool temperment...
I'm inspired...
Creativity's fruit strewn about the space...
Soul's art embodying inspiration from every place...
Voyers absorb...the disrobed psyche...
Feeling works from folks just like me...
Then it was my turn to share...
Live words spoken chosen on purpose w/ care...
Exposing my most naked thoughts...
Unfiltered mind water drips from lips...
Hands cupped to receive it...
Believe it and sip...
Savoring the concepts and drinking...AMAZING...
Digestion subconsciously thinking...the SAME THING...
Enjoying a soul-filled fantasy that's reality based...
Knowledge has a flavor that's an acquired taste...
Semisweet and honey baked...
In the glow from the smile on my face...
Exploring kinship with those who own their power with grace...
I am my brother's keeper...
Life sowing, love reeper...
Embracing the Sun people...
Posessing talent and potential unequalled...
Awe stricken at the medium's expression...
Skills and techniques innate to profession...
I'm inspired...

© GOODENess 2008

Black History Month????

2008-02-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

Contagious NIGGA syndrome..
Take some antibiotics...
That ish is psychotic...
Sweet tooth looking for that water for chocolate...
What message are we sending to our sons and daughters?
Feeding them garbage, misdirecting and leading them to slaughter...
It should end with you but this behavior is the start of...
The vicious cycle...
Believing views that are skewed like Jesse Jackson...
Taking action...
Without all the facts and...
Making crude moves...
When you lose your cool...
Not realizing your aptitude...
With a fucked up attitude...
I think it's pitiful...
NIGGA shit makes a fool of you!!!
Instead of feeding your seed...
You're waiting on others to lead...
Thant wasn't the "dream"...NIGGA PLEASE!!

Last Survey of 2007

2007-12-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

*2007 is OVER*
In 2007, did you...
fall in love with someone that was just a friend?:	nope...
fall in love at all?:	no
lose any friends?:	yeah, but I think we're cool again
make any new friends?:	OH YEAH!!
make any new enemies?:	only the hoes that are dying to be me...
develop any new hobbies?:	yeah.. CROCHET!
get older?:	of course..
do anything you regret?:	nope.. threads that make the fabric of ME
go to any parties?:	yeah! I was the LIFE of them too!
accomplish anything?:	yup! CLASS OF 2007!
make much money?:	yeah but I spent more than I made..
attend a wedding?:	(sigh) yes...
attend a funeral?:	I don't go to funerals.. won't even be at mine!
get any new family members?:	nah
move away?:	I WISH
gain any new perspectives?:	yes.. I have realized that I have committment issues!
get into a verbal fight?:	OH YEAH!!
get into a physical fight?:	no but I have come close.. drunk white boys stole my girl's wallet!
attend any sporting events?:	YEAH! shout outs to the AAC
get arrested?:	nah..
wreck your car?:	my truck got hit while it was parked!
get a new car?:	nah man! I love my truck!
make any big purchases?:	nope
get kicked out of a store, restaurant or any other kind of business?:	no way! I am a LAAAAAAAAADY!
get fired from a job?:	nah.. but I am CLOSE as hell!
get offered a job?:	I WISH!
get a raise at a job?:	only a cost of living increase...
learn anything?:	I learn something EVERY DAY!
dump your bf/gf?:	yeah.. but he made me do it!
get dumped by your bf/gf?:	I think so.. it was a mutual dump!
develop any new health problems?:	no
change as a person?:	yes.. I have matured and grown as a woman!
get any new piercings?:	does getting something re-pierced count?
get any new tattoos?:	nah.. FEBRUARY 2008
attend a concert?:	hell yeah! Rock The Bells and COMMON
crowd surf?:	nah.. there is too much of me for that..
travel out of state?:	yup!
read any books?:	I am an AVID reader!
travel out of the country?:	not this year.. maybe CARIBANA next year
spend much money?:	single Black female addicted to retail...
download any music?:	MUSIC is my BOYFRIEND
try out any new looks?:	yeah.. cut my hair off and went natural!!
sign up for a myspace?:	yeah in MAY
sign up for a facebook?:	hell nah
eat a food that you had never eaten before?:	yes.. I am adventurous..
go golfing?:	nah.. maybe in 2008
go bowling?:	yes.. my son LOVES to bowl
go to many parties?:	OH YEAH
start to resent something or someone that you used to like?:	yes.. but I don't now..
In 2007, how many....
different places did you work?:	just Atmos Energy
times did you go out drinking?:	I have NO CLUE
times did you smoke marijuana?:	twice (but I didn't inhale)
drugs did you take?:	it's not a drug if it grows that way!
times did you have health problems?:	God knew...
times did you go to the movies?:	3 or four
concerts did you attend?:	a few..it was a BIG year for music in my life!
people did you make out with?:	no habla ingles...
people did you have sex with?:	mande? otra vez, no hable ingles...
people tried to have sex with you?:	I don't even know..
times did you get your ass kicked?:	none.. I'm a GANGSTER
crushes did you have?:	a few
times did you attend church?:	ummm.. including watchnight 2007?
bad habits did you pick up?:	one.. I drink more now..
famous people did you meet?:	a few actually..
In 2007, what was?
your favorite day of the year?:	Saturday, September 15, 2007 I touched COMMON
your favorite band?:	live band? Camp Wisdom Crew
your least favorite day of the year?:	Friday, April 6, 2007
your favorite movie?:	this year? American Gangster
your favorite song of the year?:	tie between Hate On Me by Jill and I Want You by COMMON
the most expensive thing you stole?:	this year nothing.. last year, I plead the Fifth!
the biggest event you attended?:	Rock The Bells in San Bernardino, CA
something that didn't change at all this year?:	my address
your favorite holiday?:	my son's birthday
Misc. questions about 2007
were you in a hospital this year?:	yes
were you in an ambulance this year?:	yes
did you make any big confessions in 06?:	nah.. I am an open book.. nothing to confess
did you make friends with anyone of the opposite sex that you love but only:	no.. got closer to some that I already had though..
embarrassed about anything you did this year?:	nope.. I got no shame!
what's the best thing to happen to you this year?:	I graduated from college
did you meet anyone that you could see yourself marrying:	nope.. not this year...
did anyone you have no feelings for confess to having feelings for you?:	yes..
did you vote this year?:	yes
did you bring sexy back this year?:	hell yeah.. the last four digits of cell number are SEXY (7399)
was 2007 a great year, an average year or a bad year?:	GOODEN YEAR~
what goals did you set for 2008?:	get teacher certification, by a home, and watch my son start kindergarten
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

MY Life's Soundtrack

2007-12-17T10:08:00.001-08:00

*Your Life: The Soundtrack*
Opening credits:	"Cleva" Erykah Badu
Waking up:	"So Fresh & So Clean" Outkast
Average day:	"Rebirth of Slick" Digable Planets
First date:	"Electric Relaxation" Tribe Called Quest
Falling in love:	"Nothing Even Matters" DeAngelo & Lauryn Hill
Love scene:	"The Panties" Mos Def
Fight scene:	"Fuck Them Other NIGGAS" No Limit
Breaking up:	"Rain" Leela James
Getting back together:	"I Want You" Common
Secret love:	"Half The Time" Donnell Jones
Life's okay:	"Golden" Jill Scott
Mental breakdown:	"Me, Myself, and I" Beyonce
Driving:	"Makeda" Les Nubians
Learning a lesson:	"Strength, Courage & Wisdom" India Arie
Deep thought:	"Far Away" Kindred Family Soul
Flashback:	"Back in the Days" Ahmad
Partying:	"Get Me Bodied" Beyonce
Happy dance:	"Good Clothes" Little Brother
Regreting:	"My Apology" Floetry
Long night alone:	"One is the Magic Number" Jill Scott
Death scene:	"Be Happy" Mary Mary
Closing credits:	"Sometimes You Make Me Smile" Floetry
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

2007-12-14T09:29:00.000-08:00

Since January 1 is the first day of the year, we have drawn a connection between what we do on that day (or night) and our fate in the upcoming year… I have never been one to have a resolution or eat a tablespoon of black eyed peas or any of that… and 2007 has been a banner year for me… both bitter and sweet… so in an effort to "try something new" I thought to myself… self… you should start your year off differently this year, just because… participate in all the common holiday traditions associated with the end of the year in efforts to have a year like no other in 2008! So I had to make a mental list of the things that are usually done on New Year's Eve that I have NEVER done! I have started off the last 5 years in church, so what's the EXACT opposite of that? PARTYING!!!! lol… I have NEVER been OUT OUT on New Year's Eve... when I was married, I would get all dressed up cause the husband promised to take me out on the town, and he would be asleep before Dick Clark came on… I was disappointed every year for 10 years! So I started spending the New Year at church, and had a great time! In 2004, I went to church with my son, best friend and her son, after church we dropped the kids off and went to a house party... LOL... but I want to go OUT and bring in 2008 like they do on TV! And now that I think of it, I have never had a New Year's Kiss either! The thought behind the NYK is that it will insure that you have a romantically warm year… 2007 was a year of disappointment, discovery, and independence in the romance department and I like it like that… I learned A LOT! so I am not concerned about the warmness of my romantic climate… I just want to do the stuff that I never have... maybe I will just select a man at random in the club/venue/concert and let him know that he will be the lucky recipient of my first NYK… maybe I won't… who knows... just wanted to randomly ramble about how I am planning on starting the NEW YEAR? How will YOU celebrate 2008??

10 to 1

2007-11-19T08:32:00.000-08:00

Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People
1 ] you don't need magnums, knee grow
2 ] you looked better fat
3 ] you are my reason
4 ] i miss you, but i don't trust you
5 ] i LOVE your hair
6 ] you can't love me if you just met me on Friday.. it's Sunday!
7 ] why are you still calling me!
8 ] you're almost 30...GET A FUGGIN JOB!
9 ] i love you
10 ] i quit!

Nine Things About Yourself:
1 ] i build spreadsheets for fun
2 ] when i am asked a question i don't know, i MUST find the answer
3 ] music is my air
4 ] i am a mother, a griot, a stylist, an interior designer, an event planner, a counselor, a volunteer, an intimacy consultant and an accountant... :)
5 ] i am a genuinely happy and thankful woman
6 ] i used to be a people pleaser
7 ] i wasn't truly happy until i got divorced
8 ] i'm not perfect and i love that about me
9 ] i use the bullshit i've been through as fertilizer to grow

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1 ] be able to hold an intelligent conversation
2 ] be actively working on your goals/dreams
3 ] be honest
4 ] be stylish, not trendy per se, but stylish
5 ] be self sufficient
6 ] be confident
7 ] if you have children, be a FATHER, not a DADDY
8 ] broaden my horizons

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind a Lot:
1 ] my son
2 ] my options
3 ] sex
4 ] friends
5 ] money
6 ] love
7 ] living my vision for my life!

Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
1 ] ...I
2 ] ...don't
3 ] ...have
4 ] ...any
5 ] ...regrets
6 ] ...lessons learned

Five Turn Offs:
1 ] nigga sydrome (apathetic, complacent stagnation)
2 ] liars
3 ] low self esteem
4 ] using your past as an excuse for mediocrity
5 ] being NEEDY

Four Turn Ons:
1 ] intelligence (my attractions are more cerebral than physical)
2 ] confidence
3 ] personal style
4 ] chivalry

Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
1 ] :)
2 ] ;)
3 ] :P

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1 ] bring my entrepneurial endeavors to fruition
2 ] see my son become a man

One Confession:
1 ] i want someone to love me at least as much as i love myself...and be able to show me..

YOUR TURN...

a silver lining...

2007-11-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

I got a text this weekend that read "behind every beautiful girl there is boy that fucked over her and made her stronger...send this to all your beautiful girls".. NOW.. I am a male advocate.. and this text made my head hurt. nobody ever mentions the beautiful boy that has a fucked up girl in his past.. and that is probably because boys aren't as resilient as girls and he may not be "stronger" for having known the fuck-er-upper.. usually he changes from the fuck-ee to the fuck-er..so when you meet him, and he's a fuck-er, he may not have always been that way but you get to reap the "benefits" of his fucked-up-ed-ness!.. and when it happens to you..YES, it made you stronger because you made it through the BS.. but how much of that did you do to yourself? How much of that did you KNOW was coming but you turned a blind eye? There are instances when you are fucked over completely at random, but then there are times that if you had been honest with yourself, you could have walked away before it became that montage of FUCKERY that you now accredit with building your strength! I will admit that my sense of self awareness has been GREATLY influenced by my less than stellar dealings with men that have in essence "fucked me over".. but really why be salty about it? Don't be BITTER.. Be BETTER! The end doesn't justify the means, but if you are better for having learned a life lesson the "hard way", be thankful for it.. when you shed blood, sweat and tears for something.. it means more to you.. My PEACE of mind and self love stem from the trials and tribulations that I have gone through in LIFE, not just romantically...and the BULLSHIT was FERTILIZER for me to grow.. not just with men, but struggles and adversity in general.. no it makes no sense to ice grill him if you see him in the street.. smile and greet him warmly.. don't block your blessings by being a juvenille about your own life decisions! I feel absolutely NO sympathy for people that use their life lessons, defeats and challenges as excuses for mediocrity... yeah it was fucked.. painful.. debilitating.. soul crushing.. disruptive... and maybe even physically unhealthy.. but if you made it out to the other side... it's over now.. don't let your past dictate your future.. use it as motivation to insure you will never be in that place again! so behind every beautiful girl there may really be a boy that fucked her over and made her stronger.. but she is still beautiful and stronger and THAT is what matters! MAN UP!

NAPPY!!

2007-10-15T09:26:00.001-07:00

I did it! I went "natural".. what does that mean? it means after 20 years of having long, chemically relaxed hair, I let it GO! I have never been big on makeup or any of that, I am talking about my hair.. my crowning glory..I stopped getting relaxers and allowed my hair to grow in chemical free! I cut most of the relaxed part of and got kinky twists to grow it out to a length that would be manageable and fashion forward! I finally took the twists out 2 weeks ago and I have been wearing my hair ever since.. I even went to to barber college and let them cut the remainder of the relaxer off and shape my "fro".. It was an adjustment at first, but I love it! now my folks say "NOW you look like you should be on the MIC".. LOL.. (secret pun).. but my very good friend asked my WHY did I do it.. I thought about it.. and I have always wanted to do it.. but I was afraid that I wouldn't be pretty anymore.. like my hair was the main reason why I was attractive.. (giving myself the whhadafuggevahnigguh face)shallow, I know but up until my recent freedom and liberation into single-ness.. EVERY significant relationship I have been in has been with a man that preferred my hair long and was outright AGAINST it being cut! So I guess being HAPPILY NAPPY is a declaration of independence in a way too.. Finally doing something I have always wanted to do but let other people convince me I shouldn't.. and the funniest side effect of the new look is that the men that are attracted to me now, appreciate my even more natural state.. VERB!..

Now I'm Realizing That I Love(d) H.E.R...

2007-10-10T10:55:00.000-07:00

today.. i realized.. i lost something i never knew i had.. pray for me.. GOD knew!

Lonnie Rashid Lynn II

2007-09-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

PEOPLE.. I love COMMON.. I have ALL his albums..

I know most of them by heart.. even Electric Circus and that was his most "eclectic" effort to say the least.. My favorite album is "Like Water For Chocolate" closely followed by "Be".. I even celebrate his birthday (March 13, 1972).. I know TMI.. but I do! LOVE is an understatment.. I appreciate his voice.. his movement.. his force.. it doesn't hurt that he gorgeous.. but it's deeper than that.. I am into his mind and his lyrical prowess.. now that I got that out the way.. (yeah JBIGG I stole your pic, WHAT??!) I went to see my FEH (Future Ex-Husband) at the House of Blues Saturday and I was geeked! I was gonna go alone but got with my "baby mama" Reese (inside info) and her "baby mama" LIZ (sup ladies?).. we had a good time kicking it! I was alone at the actual concert but we rode together and left to go to IHOP together..I had never seen him spit live and I was beside myself.. I was not even 1ft from the stage.. and I had a GREAT picture of him holding my hand.. but the flash wasn't on so it's GOBBICH! The sista he pulled on the stage with him was standing right next to me.. she's so cute, but it shoulda been me! The sister in me wouldn't let the LONNIE-phile pull her cute ass down by her faux hawk and use her as a step stool to get to my man! LOL.. nah for real though! (straight "kill yo'self" face) .. he did a piece of "I Used To Love H.E.R." but then moved to "Love Of My Life"... the place was thick with NEW Common fans, but there were only few that KNEW what we were seeing! I have seen HIM perform.. now if I could just get backstage.. a sista can say she's satisfied! Enough typing.. LET's MOVE!!!

My Son's 4th Birthday Party...

2007-09-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

HEY HEY HEY...This is Shannon reporting live from the toddler social event of the season! Clarence's 4th Surf's Up Birthday Bash! ok.. maybe that is a "tad" over blown but it was a good time! Clarence III's dad, Clarence II hereafter referred to a "2", was in charge of the party and convinced his sister to throw it in conjunction with her 2 daughter's shindig...it was a beach themed party with message in a bottle invitations.. (cool huh?) it was for 3 kids so the cake was too cute... it was a beach (graham cracker crumbs for sand) with 3 sets of flip flops on it, each shoe had the child's name on it and the age candle for that child was right next to their set of flops! it was very creative if I do say so myself...the festivities were on the other side of town from where my son and I live so only 2 kids came for Clarence's VIP section.. lol.. but somehow he still managed to get the most presents and money! and since his older cousin read her bday cards, he insisted on reading his...out loud.. (keep in mind he will be 4 on the 18th and is still learning to read..lol) he said stood up and opened his biggest card... and in a big voice he said "dear Clarence.. happy birthday big boy... AMEN!" and closed the card in triumph! that's my boy! Once the gifts were ravaged, he didn't waste any time putting his little face in that awesomely cute cake! of course that was his piece.. LMAO.. we all had a good time and there was NO "co-parent" drama! I am glad my ex husband and I get along well enough for the party to have been a success but next year he will be 5.. and mommy's back on party patrol.. I will plan it and his dad can pay for it! Co-Parenting at it's finest.. HA!

2007-09-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting my blog... and it's cathartic for me to "blog" as it were... someONE happened to me... I wrote this piece in March 2007 and I stumbled across it the same day he re-appeared to me... there is something kismet about that... love is unconditional, trust and respect are not... but like all things of immeasurable, intrinsic & infinite value, ANYTHING can be re-mixed if the formula is right...might even taste better after it marinates...it's more tender...I can still feel how much I meant this shit...internally...

I Don’t Know…
I don’t know how to say this…
There is disillusion in our midst…
My mind is questioning what my heart thought it knew…
And I am in the dark about my future with you…
We don’t connect the way that we used to do…
The beat of our drum is now slow and subdued….
This ain’t no honeymoon…
I don’t know…
Don’t know if our season together is ending…
Don’t know if the love we share is past tense or pending...
Don’t know if you even notice how what we’ve had has changed…
Don’t know if you care of if it’ll ever be the same…
Don’t know if what you told me you want, still is…
Don’t know if your heart is still where you say your “home” is…
Now there is silence where “I Love You” used to be…
The song our souls sang together is slightly off key…
I don’t know what to say other than I am afraid…
That even after all of my investment is paid…
A line has been drawn in the sand for us to cross…
One side is Gaines, one side is loss…
I mean we can wait it out, or do a coin toss…
But something has to be done before the tide comes to wash…
It all away…
Not the same woman today…
She is gone; she has nothing to say…
The talk says… you want to leave the place you are...
The walk says… you won’t leave until you’re a star…
And our convos say you want me to hold on to the bar…
I’m giving all I got, but your love feels so far…
It’s hard…
Trying to play the cards…
Can’t shake the feeling that I have a straight FLUSH…
Giving so much
Of myself, my life, my future, my son...
Believing in my spirit that you are the ONE…
So I wait…
Under duress…
Resentment growing and so is the stress
You can’t be concerned with me, because you’re too focused on you...
Is this déjà vu?
This is the same bullshit my ex husband put me through!
Damn!
Being unhappy in a bond is something I am not willing to do…
I am going to have to let you go...so you can do you...
I will miss you… so will my son… But what am I to do?
I can't do this, to me, or with you,
A&E4U, but... we're through...

© Goodeness 2007

ROCK THE BELLS (after)

2007-09-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

I know it’s been a minute since I actually ROCKED THE BELLS, but better late than never right? (SMH…I know… knee grows) Basically, I went alone, flew in to John Wayne, got a rental car, and crashed with a sister/friend’s house (who didn't go to the venue with me).. it was an experience to say the least.. I couldn't believe all the people that were there...50K easy!!! TALIB and MOS.. WU.. EPMD.. NAS.. CYPRESS HILL.. MF DOOM.. MURS.. SUPERNAT.. PUBLIC ENEMY… THE ROOTS.. and when Captain Kirk was on the guitar during the Roots show.. I was in awe of that man's talent!! It was spiritual! I just recently decided to start "getting out there" more because I was nourishing the MOMMY side of me but depriving the WOMAN side... but I digress.. it WAS AWESOME.. I actually did meet a couple of MySpace-ians when I got there and we were together for a while (shout out to Needle To The Groove), but I was mostly by myself, walking around, taking it all in.... I LOVED the panel discussions and got to meet Chuck D (see pic above) but I had to leave when Flav came out.. he is too much for me.. when MOS was on stage.. I was in it! and Talib..BLACKSTAR did it big for me and when they did Brown Skin Lady! IT WAS OVER!!! That is one of my theme songs! I was in the pit most of the time.. it was so unreal to be that close to people I admire so much! got a hug from Pharoahe and Kirk.. I am weraing my Tshirt right now!! ha!! the break dance exhibitions and freestyle battles were off the hook! I wish I could have battled but I got there too late to register.. so (shrugging) I snoozed and loosed.. I have never experienced anything like it.. I went to the after party for the Dallas RTB at the Black Forest Theater, but it was very intimate (like a hunnit folks) and that is was I expected in CA.. but that isn't what I got.. I felt a little like cattle on occasion, and there was CONCERT VIP (pink wrist band) and VENUE VIP (blue wrist band) and they were letting pinks into the blue VIP until the paying dues stages closed, because the folks that were over there came to the main area and they were overcrowded.. so I felt less VIP-ish after that.. the festival was from 11am to 1155pm and it was OUTSIDE so folks weren’t necessarily happy go lucky by about 8 or 9pm...I was NOT a venue VIP (blue wrist band) and they weren’t letting pink bands in the blue VIP area anymore, BUT I am Southern sister in the midst of rude west coast hype.. so I just smiled and charmed up one of the doormen and got a blue wrist band..he was impressed that I had come all the way from Dallas by myself to experience the hip hop culture forum that is Rock The Bells! that VIP had pool tables, better food, cheaper drinks (non alcoholic for me cause Im not much of a drinker and it was too dang gone hot for all that), couches, and better stage access...I met Chuck D at a VIP panel discussion and I touched Mos Def when he was on stage (during "brown skin lady"..I was a mess afrer that I LOVE HIM!).. got a hug from the best guitar player I've ever heard named Kirk Douglas (The Roots)..and heard a song that was new to me, a more R&B-ish song called "I Can't Understand" from The Roots... it was just an AWESOME experience that I am SO glad I had... but I would do it again in a heartbeat!!!

ROCK THE BELLS (before)

2007-08-09T18:43:00.001-07:00

some know and some don't, but I am flying out to CA tomorrow morning to go to an interactive hip hop festival called Rock The Bells!! I am so far beyond the mundane definition of excitement that there are NO WORDS for this feeling! O...M...G...! I am going VIP style which means I have access to the meet and greet sessions.. the panels.. the exhibitions...and of course the concerts! The tour came to Dallas this past Tuesday, but The Roots and Mos Def weren't slated to perform so I decided to step completely outside my box and do something JUST FOR ME! I bought a ticket to the San Bernardino show because that was the next venue that had the full roster of ICONs.. I am going alone.. which is something I have never done before. I am staying with a good sister/friend of mine but she isn't going to the festival cause she has "mommy" things to do... I have a relatively new friend that will be there with friends and they have agreed to entertain me during the more than 12 hour event.. MUSIC IS MY AIR.. and this event is full of real HIP HOP culture... newsflash HIP HOP is not usually played on the radio.. but I digress.. I didn't go to the Dallas show, but I did go to the Dallas RTB Afterparty at the Black Forest Theater. It was awesome! I got my money's worth.. met some people I kind of already knew..heard some great music...and danced the night away.. didn't rest my head until almost 3am and I was an hour late for work the next morning, but it was SO worth it.. the vibe in the BFT was the rhythm of what I know is genuine creative expression.. and those that know me know I am a sucker for creative expression... I gotta pack! I'm out!

a MOVEMENT...

2007-07-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

I am having trouble here people… It took me a while to get to this point after a messy and traumatic breakup earlier this year, but I am single now and ready to mingle… So here’s the issue… Where are the “steppers”? The brothers that make a sister feel like she has to step her game up! I don’t feel challenged by the men I meet! I mean I am meeting men left and right but they don’t capture me… they don’t have anything to talk about, no plan, no goals… just existing, not living… they are cool… and attractive… but that will only get you so far in “Shannon-land”… I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I know who and what I am and what I bring to the table in life, not just in TOGETHERness… I mean come on! In the real world looking good will get you in the door… BUT you have got to have something beyond good looks to retain your position. Confidence, intelligence, COMMON SENSE, charisma, personality, ambition, balance… you know, the basics… and if you don’t have that.. you should at least be ACTIVELY trying to get it! Hustle means hard work! I like a man with personality, passions, and peace! I am not trying to be responsible for your happiness… you gotta happy without me but ELATED when with me! I am a happy woman and it doesn’t take much to put a smile on my face… brothers ask me why I am single and I must say because I haven’t met a force that captures me! I want a MAN not a BOY with MAN tendencies! I want to connect with someone that makes me feel like I can step my game up! You know a man that challenges my mind! I swear I don’t know where these kind of men are…I know they exist.. they have to… I blame these boys’ mommas! I am a movement by myself! I want a man that makes me better! Until then… GET YOUR OWN UMBRELLA…ELLA….ELLA….AAAY!

MIC CHECK

2007-07-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

My MIC sounds nice...check 1

My MIC sounds nice...check 2

All eyes on me wondering what I'm about to do...

Got a tingle in my spine...

Running up the arch of my back...

Cause being on the MIC... is my aphrodisiac...

I caress it gently as I wet my lips to recite...

A rhythm like love that I speak into this MIC!

I open my mouth and begin my soulful moan...

It's so hard... to believe the way rock this MICrophone...

Tasty tones flow from lips to hips...

Using my voice, I move the room into total eclipse...

Speaking in tongues that parallel the Egyptian hieroglyphs...

This sistah's the shit!!

I hear the reactions from my captive crowd...

Participation getting loud!

In awe of my skills and the technique of my flow...

reciprocating to give me a standing "O"!!

All smiles with satisfaction,The MIC is in awe of my action!

Have you ever heard a sweet song like that?

It's not the lyrics cuz I just hum the words that I lack...

Performing feats similar to fiction...

But it's a matter of fact...

Being on the MIC is my aphrodisiac!

Mental Slavery

2007-07-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Mental Slavery
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray ALL of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result- ALL the apes are sprayed with cold water.
Continue until another ape tries to climb the stairs. The other apes will try to prevent it. Now turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not? Because that`s the way it`s always been around here.
That`s how mental slavery begins.....